#am i a coward for posting this so late at night

[buckymorelikefuckme]

curiosity

jake jensen x fem reader

words: 1.3k

warnings: **18+ ONLY** smut, oral (m and f receiving), anal fingering (m receiving), prostate milking, a little overstimulation. let me know if i've missed anything!

a/n: idgaf this is purely self-indulgent. perhaps it reveals more about me than i care for but idc!!!!!! let me live!! (thanks and sorry to @brandycranby for inadvertently helping me with this lolol) not proofread in the slightest, so any and all mistakes are my own. feedback is encouraged and appreciated :)

It starts with your curiosity.

You've had moments of wondering with past partners, about whether or not they'd be into it, but you never acted on that curiosity before. You never felt like you could, like you'd be safe to explore something new sexually with those people.

But with Jake… Jake makes you feel the safest you've ever felt in a relationship. You're still a bit shy, unsure of how to ask how he'd feel about it, because what you're wanting to do might be too much for him. At the same time, you know he'd never make you feel bad for asking.

So, when it happens, you don't actually verbally say anything.

You've got Jake sitting on the edge of your bed, with you on your knees between his, mouthing wetly at his hard cock. He’s making soft sounds above you, one hand propped behind him holding himself up while his other hand is holding your hair away from your face.

When you look up at him through your lashes, sucking on the tip of his cock, he bites his lip and tips his head back with a sigh. Slowly, you begin to take more of him into your mouth, bobbing your head and adding suction on the way up. You see his abs clench as he grunts when you dip your tongue into his slit. You trail your hands everywhere; you slide them up his thighs, across his hips, to his pecs to thumb over his nipples.

“Fuck,” he breathes, whispering your name reverently as you suck him harder.

You hum around him and he curses again, dropping to his elbow, hips shifting minutely upward into your mouth. Meeting his heavy-lidded gaze again, you cup his balls, softly applying pressure to them. He groans deep in his chest and falls completely on his back, legs spreading wider. It feels like the perfect opportunity.

Keeping your eyes on him, on how he's breathing heavier and squeezing his eyes shut, you let your fingers wander down to his taint, waiting for his reaction. All he does is let out a rumbling noise, so you bob your head a little faster and shift your fingers lower, to his crack. Cautiously, you press in to pet over his hole.

His eyes fly open then, glancing down at you with blown pupils and lips bitten red, cheeks much pinker than they were just a second ago.

“What–What are you doing?” he asks, voice gruff.

You lazily pull off his cock, swirling your tongue the whole way and making his lashes flutter, a moan punching out of him when you let go of him with an obscene pop. “I'm just curious,” you confess quietly, looking up at him innocently, stroking him at a leisurely pace.

He swallows roughly as he continues holding your stare. Your heart is racing, wondering if you've gone too far, if you've ruined everything.

“Okay,” he says, after a lengthy pause.

You sit up a little taller. “Really?” you ask, trying and failing to keep your eagerness out of your tone.

He nods jerkily. “Yeah, we can—you can try.”

You smile so wide your cheeks bunch up. It makes Jake huff a small laugh, some tension leaving him.

“Do you need, like…” He flushes again and waves his hand vaguely. “Lube?”

You feel warmth rush up to your own face, contemplating, but then you reach between your thighs to where you're throbbing and dripping. He sees your shoulder moving as you coat your fingers with your slick and mutters a heartfelt fuck under his breath.

“No,” you purr. “I’ve got it covered.”

You moan when you slip two of your fingers in your cunt to make sure they're as wet as they can be. Jake’s breathing picks up, watching your every move. He rises to his elbows again after you remove your fingers and bring them back to his hole, rubbing gentle circles around his rim. You can tell he's nervous, but he doesn't tell you to stop, so you unhurriedly begin to slip one finger inside him.

His brows furrow, lips parting as he exhales shakily at the new sensation. In case he's experiencing any discomfort, you take his cock back into your mouth, an act he vocally appreciates with a drawn out whine. As you’re sliding up and down the length of him, you carefully start thrusting your finger in and out of his hole. Jake lets out a noise you've never heard him make before.

“Shit,” he hisses, grunting and clenching his jaw.

You curl your finger, searching. When Jake jerks, moaning in surprise and shock, you know you've found his prostate and you hum, rubbing at that spot more.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chants, gritting his teeth and panting, his flush spreading down to his chest.

You keep pressure on his prostate while you suck him faster, your own need skyrocketing, wanting to see Jake come apart from your mouth and hands. He’s letting out nonstop moans and whines, hips kicking up, his hands flailing as he searches for purchase somewhere, anywhere. You can tell he's close, and after a second of contemplation, you pull your finger out and slowly press back in with two.

Jake shouts, thrusting hard into your mouth and half-heartedly apologizing, jaw going slack and eyes rolling back into his head when you rub insistently at his prostate. His thighs shake on either side of you, his stomach clenching and unclenching.

He’s fucking stunning.

“I–I think I’m—fuck—I’m coming,” he stutters, voice high and breathy and needy.

You reach up with your free hand to cup his balls again and he sobs, curling upward and gripping your hair harshly as his breath hitches in his throat. With a ragged groan, he comes, body jerking while you milk his cock and prostate. You moan as you swallow around him, squeezing your thighs together to try and appease the aching throb between them.

Letting out a sharp exhale, he drops onto his back. His legs, hips, and arms twitch uncontrollably as you work him through his orgasm, until he finally whimpers from oversensitivity. You pull off of him, kissing his tip as you remove your fingers from his hole.

“C’mere,” he instructs, urging you up on the bed with him.

He directs you to sit above his mouth, and before you lower yourself you take his glasses off and place them on the mattress next to you. Impatient, he yanks you down, sucking at your clit straight away and making you cry out, holding on to his hair. He uses his hands on your hips to guide you in a dirty grind, letting you ride his tongue.

“Jakey,” you whine, following his lead, watching him below you.

His eyes are blazing, eating you out enthusiastically. You're already so close and it doesn't take long for you to come, his tongue fucking into you and nose stimulating your clit from the messy way you're grinding down on his face. Your climax leaves you trembling, thighs shaky as you try to lift off of him and collapse beside him. Jake follows, swiping his tongue across your pussy, making you jerk and whimper weakly pushing at his head because you can't tell if you want to let him keep going or to stop.

When he manhandles you flat on your back and pushes your legs apart as far as they can go, his hands under your knees, the decision is made for you.

By the time he's done with you, his mouth and chin are shining with your wetness and you're pretty sure you've seen god. He kisses his way up your torso, dipping his tongue in your bellybutton and grinning at the way you writhe away from the ticklish feeling, places gentle kisses to your breasts, and finally kisses and licks up your neck to your mouth. You make out with him for a long while, until your taste is gone from his tongue and your jaw is sore.

All in all, you'd say your curiosity has paid off this time. You wonder what else you can get him to try…

[dark-moonlust]

Heyyy so im so weak for bear hybrids and i just saw the one you posted, (LOVE IT btw), and i was wondering if you could do a sequal where reader decides to stay and lives a happy cozy life, with like cozy fires and all the bestest fur blankets and coziest bed and BIG FLUFFY BEAR MAN CUDDLES, but also like yk mad crazy sex where he likes to show off his strength and just like tosses her around, like up against walls, that thing where u like hold a girl on ur shoulders to eat her n stuff, if not thats ok i love all ur work sm 🙏🧎‍♀️🤍

Hello anon!!! Thank you for all the lovely words and the smutty idea!! I love bear hybrids, too. I'm sorry I took so long to complete. I have a lot of requests and I've been so busy lately. I'm trying to catch up on them slowly. Anyway, I hope this is to your liking!

Happy reading everyone!

Check out the first part of my bear hybrid oneshot here.

Cozy Life with your Bear Hybrid

Pairing: bear hybrid x fem reader Summary: you live a cozy life with your giant bear of a man. And you love it. Warnings: minors-ageless accounts don't interact, 18+, smut, size kink, overstimulation, oral (fem receiving), huge 🍆, p in v sex, lots of 💦.

The wind screamed outside, rolling through the trees, yet it was only a whisper in the warmth of your cave. The fire crackled in the hearth and you were wrapped up in your mate's thick, muscled arms—the big bear of a beast who smelled like woodsmoke earthy perfume. He was warm and super cuddly, his big frame spooning you from behind.

Thick furs were heaped high on the bed their softness wrapping around you like a cocoon. Your bear hybrid always ensured you were warm and cozy, and took great pleasure in cuddling and loving you for hours on end. That night, he had a fond deep look in his eyes that spoke of his desire to keep you close and shield you from the outer world.

His mate. Forever.

Yes, you loved your life as his other half.

Shifting slightly, he moved, drawing you even closer, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his furred bear face scratchy but exquisite against your skin. His fingers, strong and calloused, trailed carefully down your belly, over your thighs, making sure his sharp nails were sheathed. Humming in satisfaction, you sunk deeper into him.

There was nowhere else you'd rather be, nothing else you'd rather do than spend every day surrounded by the warmth of your giant, soft bear, who was just as possessive and tender toward you.

"Hmmm, I could stay like this forever," he drawled in a low voice that vibrated through your chest. “But I’m also thinking about all the things I want to do to you.”

“Like?” you challenged, hands caressing his furry arm.

“Taste your sweet honey for one,” he murmured, his voice a low, dark rumble that sent goosebumps all over your skin.

“You just love to use this reference!”

He cocked a brow. “Why not?” His voice deepened. “Your cunt leaks the sweetest honey there is. I can vouch for that.”

“You are a horny bear beast.”

Chuckling, his hand moved down your thigh, fingers pressing just hard enough to cause you to open. “Hmm, and as the bear beast I am, I should taste again. Make sure your lovely cunny is as delicious as before. I love honey. Your honey.”

“You are insatiable.” Your face felt warm at the memory of him eating you out just hours ago. Your pussy had no issue whatsoever; it clenched and pooled with your juices.

Damn… You were both insatiable.

He grinned, that familiar, smoldering look blazing in his eyes. “Sleep, cuddle, eat you out, fuck. Then repeat. That’s our schedule. Now come, mate,” he playfully tapped your thighs. “Time to let me taste your pussy.”

His tone was straightforward. As if what you did every day was perfectly normal. You touched each other, rolled around in bed, kissed, made out (a lot), and couldn't keep your hands away from each other.

And you weren't a coward or an idiot to turn away from such joy.

In a playful mood, you smacked his hands playfully and scooted off the bed. You were in the mood to tease him. He growled and you hardly had time to move when he lifted you effortlessly, as if you were weightless in his massive arms, whisking you off the ground. You hugged him firmly and moaned as he hoisted you again, slamming you against the wall.

Strong hands maneuvered you so that your legs were draped over his shoulders, your pussy exposed and dripping in front of his eager mouth. You clutched his head and peered down at him, seeing the passion in his eyes as he licked up your mound, manipulating your folds with his long thick tongue. Your head tipped back, spine arching as he sucked you in, savoring your juices as if he were eating his favorite meal—which he was.

You were his favorite delicacy.

It went on and on, his tongue playing with your tender clit, circling the tender nub. You went wild, buried your fingers in his silky fur, and tugged violently as you shattered, your body coming alive with energy. He kept going, his big hands clutching your ass, his tongue thrusting inside to taste your honey. He growled primitively, his breaths vibrating over your clit.

He could go on for hours if you let him, feasting on your cunt and doing incredible tongue tricks just to see you lose yourself in pleasure.

“Pl—ease…ha~” you trembled, your voice strained from the toe-curling orgasm he’d given you.

With a husky moan, he gently flung you back into bed, onto that sea of fur covers, his large bulk crushing you with this delicious, heavy warmth and scent. You sighed with happiness and stretched your legs wider. He leaned over you, his cock thrusting up from between his broad thighs, already dripping seed.

His hands robed over your body, caressing your legs, belly and your breasts. You arched against him, whining when his leaky cock pressed against your entrance. He toyed with your nipples and leisurely rubbed his cock across your slit, his massive shaft appearing inhumanly large in comparison to your little human hole.

“Want my big bear to fuck me,” you whispered, fingers reaching down to open the outer lips of your pussy. “Pretty please?”

He whined and pushed the blunt cockhead a tiny bit inside. “How can I deny you, love?”

“Yessss,” you moaned, wiggling your waist. You were half-dazed with pleasure and you craved every inch of him inside you.

The spark in his eyes told you he was barely holding back. He was always so gentle despite his raw desire for you.

“Easy. Look at you,” he drawled, eyes on your pretty cunt, spread by his cockhead. “Every inch of you… mine, open and soft for me.”

“Come on, no more looking,” you warned. “Inside. Need you inside. All of you.”

A gentle roll of his hip, a little wiggling from you and he was inside, every inch of him buried in your depths. He was so deep you could feel him throbbing in your bellybutton, his balls crushed against your bum. You clutched his biceps, let out a gentle pants at the thick girth spreading your hole. You felt full, but not uncomfortably so. You’d learned to take him, to accommodate his hybrid cock.

“Good girl,” he drawled, his tongue plunging into your mouth.

Tongue down your throat, he fucked you, pounded into you in deep, unhurried thrusts. He kissed you as if he was starving, as if you were the only precious person he’d spent his entire life searching for. Which was entirely true. His hands cupped and kneaded your tits, his breath warm on your mouth.

Pleasure hit you again, and you sobbed mutely, your fingers tangling in his furred shoulders as he continued to claim you, his magnificent cock pumping in and out of your slick cunt. You heard his feral grunts and the squelching sounds of your bodies colliding. Two more thrusts and he exploded, loads of cum filling you up. He spurted for several minutes, your cunt overflowing with hot seed.

“Pretty, so damn pretty,” he roared. “Good mate, taking my cock and my seed. It drips so beautifully down your thighs.”

“Too much! It always is,“ you whined, feeling the final spurts of his release.

“Oh, that’s nothing.” His eyes had that dark hungry gleam, one that told you he wasn’t done with you. “Let’s see just how much more you can take, mate, ‘cause I’m not stopping anytime soon.”

Did you enjoy?! Like, comment or reblog! It would make me so happy!

[huntershoe]

THE BAD BATCH PROMPT EVENT

A/N: I would like to thank @arctrooper69 for making this prompt and giving me a great idea. I am a little late tho because I only saw the post yesterday evening. I chose the NSFW prompt since I am trying to improve my smut writing abilities ;)

Summary: After intense past months, the tension between you and Hunter finally snaps.

Warning: NSFW (18+) minors DNI.

Word count: 2439

Thank you for reading!

It has been months since you, Hunter and Wrecker had any break, the fast pacing time and events simply wouldn't let you rest, even a good night sleep was rare. And with that of course came another few things to complain about. You and Hunter used to be so much more physically active together, and not just the flaming hot crazy sex, but also just small kisses here and there when no one was looking, the fleeting touches, just to reassure each other's presence.

It's not that you don't love him anymore, or the other way around, it's just that the stress from loosing Tech and Omega was too great, it wouldn't let you relax even for a second, knowing that Omega is still out there, suffering maker knows what.

So yes, you actually couldn't remember the last time you and Hunter managed to let out some steam and fuck and the only time you would get to kiss him was if you both managed get into your bunk at the same time to sleep and Wrecker took the watch.

The last few months consisted of constant deadly missions, doing the dirty work just to get some information, which usually ended up being useless but that didn't stop you and you kept on risking your life every day, to find Omega.

So once you got a mysterious transmission, sounding like Omega and telling you to meet at some backwater location, you didn't know what to believe. It simply sounded too good to be true. You could still remember the moment Omega ran down the ramp and into Wrecker's arms, it really was a sight to see, just like Wrecker said.

You were the second one Omega ran to, and you knelt down in front of her, squeezing her into a tight hug, until Omega spotted Hunter on top of the ramp, looking down at his two favourite girls with a small smile.

From then on, everything changed once Crosshair walked down the ramp to everyone's surprise.

Crosshair's arrival made Hunter a bit on edge, he didn't trust his brother as much as he wanted to. Who could blame him, Crosshair was the one hunting them just a little more than six months ago.

On top of that, with Crosshair now being around again, Hunter seemed more...pissy, it greatly bothered him that the sniper acted like nothing happened, like he didn't need to explain his actions.

With that, tension was all time high, because Hunter being pissy and on edge, made you pissy and on edge so you were constantly bickering. That's exactly why you were in the middle of a fight that was gradually becoming bigger and bigger, making Crosshair roll his eyes and go down to the beach with Batcher and Wrecker taking Omega fishing.

Not even realizing you two were now alone in the Marauder, yelling at each other about the most silly things until the topic somehow ended up on your failing relationship, or how it seemed that it was slowly failing.

And when Hunter tried to come up with a dumb excuse as to why he was pulling away, because he himself didn't actually know why but he just felt like he had to explain himself and when you called him on his bulshit he groaned, holding his head as he rolled his eyes and tried to walk away.

You weren't about to let him go, especially when you heard him mutter a quiet "Just go fuck yourself."

He couldn't help himself, it just escaped his lips and he knew he screwed up when you let out a loud scoff, crossing your arms in front of you and glared at his back. "Fuck me yourself, you coward."

That made him stop in his tracks and his breath hitched, not knowing if he heard you right and trying to decide how to respond back if he did indeed heard you right. Hunter turned around, his head moving before his body as he looked at you with raised brows. "What?"

You knew Hunter didn't mean it, he wasn't the type of man to insult someone and you knew very well that these past months weren't just bad for you but also for him. You knew it wasn't his fault that you two grew apart but still, you were frustrated. Frustrated that you can't have him like you used to, that you can't show him how deeply you actually love him, that even when you do, he barely acknowledges it. Frustrated with yourself that you were still thinking so selfishly. "You heard me, Hunter."

You rolled your eyes, still a little angry and tapping your feet against the ground. "I mean it's been months since you've last kissed me properly,"  You tried to justify your comeback, the last of your frustration fading away and embarrassment and self consciousness taking its place as you averted your eyes down to your fiddling fingers.

The embarrassment only intensified when Hunter stayed silent, just looking at you with his head tilted making you nervous in front of him for the first time since you've entered the relationship with him. "I...I know we hadn't had the time for us in these past months but I just miss us...I miss you Hunter." You started rambling, your voice getting quieter until you just barely whispered the last part but Hunter only stayed still, silently watching, making it worse.

The nerves finally got the best of you and you closed your eyes. "please say something." You whispered as tears started forming in your eyes. You let out one final breath waiting for him, to give you a sign, something, anything, to show you he still wants you and your relationship.

And when even after a few moments, he didn't let out a single sound, you turned away to hide your tears that finally spilled. Thinking that this was the end of it, you began walking away, trying to hide but you only managed to make a few steps before you felt someone grabbing your arm, stopping and spinning you.

Your eyes opened in shock as the world suddenly began spinning around you until your body came to a sudden halt and your chest was pressed against a solid and all to familiar armour. You didn't even get to look up at Hunter properly before his lips connected to yours and your body froze.

One of Hunter's hands sneaked around your waist, pulling you closer and securing you against his chest while his other hand moved up from your forearm to your cheek as he pressed a long and loving kiss against your lips. Butterflies exploded in your stomach and a warm feeling spread across your whole body. You slowly relaxed into his arms and your eyes closed as your own hands began sneaking up his armor plates and behind his neck. Hunter gently bit down on your lower lip, making you gasp in surprise. He took the chance, deepening the kiss, he slowly sneaked his tongue against yours, playing with it while exploring your mouth, trying to map every corner just like he used to.

This kiss was everything you wanted, everything you needed, everything...you missed these past months.

Your tongue danced around his, like two snakes, wrapping around each other as your hands moved higher up into his hair and he let out a quiet groan once you gently pulled on a strand of his hair.

None of you were even considering on pulling away, until your lungs began burning with the need for oxygen. Gently pulling away from his lips, you opened your eyes slowly. Your eyes locked with his as both of your chests heavied up and down, gasping for air.

His mesmerizing golden brown eyes were looking at you softly. Holding so many emotions, so much love for you, it made you feel bad about your latter outburst.

"Mesh'la" Shivers ran down your back at the Mandalorian nickname Hunter murmured while moving his hand from your cheek to a rogue strand of hair and tucked it behind your ear. "I'm sorry." Your eyes flickered from his right to left eye, until he closed them for a long moment and reopened them, watching you intensely.

"I never wanted to make you feel this way." His voice was laced with regret and he slowly moved his hand behind your neck, slowly pushing your head closer until your foreheads touched in keldabe kiss.

"Let me...us start this again."

Hope filled your chest and it almost felt like a giant stone rolled of off your heart. A smile grew over your lips and you moved your right hand on his tattooed cheek. Following the pattern of the black ink, your finger danced in small circles, until it stopped on his lips.

"Let's try this again."

You watched how his pupils slowly dilated, watching you with pure adoration.

"Good." Hunter rasped and then attacked your lips. It was like a switch in him flipped, letting out a man starving for you as his both hands moved down to your hips, pushing you against him while his tongue battled for dominance.

You felt dizzy, your eyes rolling back as they fell shut.

A breathy moan escaped past your lips as Hunter moved his hands lower to your ass, squeezing it hungrily and one of your leg automatically went up and locked around his hip.

You felt him pull back for a second to breathe, his chest violently moving up and down, just like yours.

"Good thing they left us alone."

Hunter murmured and a smirk spread across his lips as he kneaded your ass. You couldn't hold yourself back anymore and you kissed him again, pulling yourself as close to him as possible until Hunter gently tapped your ass, signaling you to jump and you did.

He caught you and you wrapped your legs around his waist, locking your ankles behind him. With your legs out of the way, Hunter began walking towards your shared bunk bed all while still managing to take your breath away.

He moved to sit down on the edge of the bed and with this newfound position, you could feel just how aroused he was, his hard-on poking through the gasps of his armor.

Moving your hands down his armored chest, you began taking off any piece of his armor that you could get your hands on. Helping you, Hunter took off his main chest plate, throwing it away mindlessly. With that, your hands found his cod piece and you began tugging it away, freeing his achingly hard cock.

Hunter let out a loud groan, his hands once again moving to your ass and pulling you closer and over his hard-on.

Moaning at how perfectly this position allowed you to grind your clit directly over his cock you began rolling your hips over and over.

Letting out a string of curses, Hunter broke the kiss and began planting open mouthed kisses all over your neck, starting at your jaw.

"Fuck mesh'la." Hunter groaned deeply before he started nibbling on that perfect spot just under your jaw.

After all these months of no physical contact like this, it made you so much more desperate to reach that perfect peak of ecstasy. Hunter could tell you were already close, with all those moans and gasps you were letting out. It was enchanting to watch you, so beautiful, sexy, mesmerizing. He couldn't take his eyes off of you as you neared your orgasm.

You felt amazing, in the arms of your lover and nearing your peak. Your eyes were rolling back and your breath hitched, just as you thought your orgasm would roll over Hunter stood up in a split second and gently threw you on the bed.

Gasping in surprise and then whining as that perfect peak subsided you opened your eyes wide, only to see him kneel in front of you and take off his black gloves.

"I want you coming all over my face and fingers." A quiet mewl escaped you, his voice was low, almost growling as he threw his gloves somewhere behind him and then grabbed your waist band, pulling it down quickly. A loud groan left him as he spotted a big wet spot on the crotch of your pants.

Hunter pulled both your pants and panties off in one go, throwing them over his shoulder just like he did with his gloves. Another growl escaped him as he grabbed your legs and threw them over his shoulder and pulled you up, closer to his face.

You watched his face, how his eyes looked at you hungrily and he wetted his lips, you saw his nostrils dilate as he breathed in your sweet scent. He looked downright sinful as you saw him close his eyes and lick a long stripe up across your folds, making you moan. Another loud groan echoed through the ship as Hunter began feasting on you.

Wrapping his lips around your clit he began sucking on it as if his life depends on it. His mouth felt amazing on you and you couldn't help but to grab onto his hair as you felt yourself quickly approaching that wonderful high again. A loud gasp left you when you felt his fingers prodding on your entrance. "Please Hunter, more." Feeling desperate enough you begged, rolling your hips into his face.

Wanting to fulfill your every wish, Hunter entered two fingers in you, groaning when your pussy clenched around them immediately. He expertly hit that spongy spot, managing to pump his fingers in and out only a few times before your eyes rolled back and your lips opened in O shape, letting out a long moan as your orgasm hit you.

Your body shook and Hunter had to hold onto you to keep you from moving too much as he kept on sucking on your juices. After a few more moments of pure ecstasy you began feeling overstimulated and you had to actually pull Hunter off of you by his hair. He looked wild, licking his lips and his eyes black as night, he was panting when he finally pulled away a little more just to suck on his fingers full of your juices. "One of these days I'm gonna take my time with you and won't stop for hours." Hunter growled, looking down, directly at your pussy.

You looked at him, your face completely flushed and you grinned at him. "Come here soldier." And you pulled him closer, connecting your lips with him.

Maybe this will be even better than before.

[rwbie]

Words || Iso x reader ||

Iso x reader - School AU

Posts on Iso have been very slow lately and I've been compelled to write one myself. I write to fulfill my fantasies and maybe yours too? I am an English learner so feel free to give feedback or shit on it. If you like it, please like the post so I know <3 ^^

- Not proofread

"I love you..." The last thing you heard from Zhou Yu before you stupidly ran away.

It was a mistake to run away... Zhou Yu had confessed a few weeks ago, and you were left shocked. How could someone like him love you? In a result to that, when he did confess you panicked and ran away. You deeply regrated that, after time to yourself you realized contact with him had been cut off since that day. You tried texting him, but you were blocked. Going up to him? He wouldn't even look at you. Ouch...

You had a back up plan, writing a note and slipping it in his bag... hopefully he'd read it and give you a chance. While walking to the cafeteria to meet up with your friends you saw him leave his bag in the classroom, this was your chance. So you went in and left the note. This is what it read:

Li Zhou Yu, I'm sorry, I ran away after our most recent interaction. I hope this didn't rub off in the wrong way, I guess I'm just shocked. I wish I could talk to you again after that, but I lost touch with you, and you wouldn't even look at me in school. I'll be at the park tonight, usual place and time... will you be there?

And it ended with your signature... Once the note was dropped, all you had to do was wait until after school... But would he really go? So you went to the cafeteria to meet up with your friends and let the day pass by.

𓇢𓆸

Later that night, the sun had set and you sat on a swing that you would usually chill at. The moon was full and lit up the night beautifully, the stars barely making it through the light pollution. Checking your phone, it was getting late... Maybe he wasn't going to show up after all? Should you just leave...?

𓇢𓆸

Light footsteps were heard to your right. Surely it was him right? Your gaze fixated on the moon, the footsteps stopped followed by a heavy sigh. Definitely him... Hesitantly you look over to where the sound came from, and there he stood, his hands in the uniforms pocket, he said nothing. He leaned against the support of the swing.

"Zhou Yu...," You said quietly staring at his eyes that were perfectly captured by the moon.

He didn’t say anything at first he just continued to stare at you.. he was quiet, he was still upset. Then he spoke, "Why did you do that?"

"I'm sorry...," You paused and turned your head away breaking the stare. That's all you were able to say in the moment. Pathetically coming up with an excuse you still spoke quietly, "I panicked..."

He looked at you as you turned your head away from the eye contact. Letting out a scoff before he spoke again, his tone was a bit more serious this time, "Is this why you ran away and avoided everything I did? Were you just embarrassed after I told you how I felt?"

"No, no… I just needed some time to myself, I needed to process everything. I tried talking to you but it seemed like you didn't care, you just ignored me. You even blocked my number..."

"Because you ran away after I told you how I felt, and disappeared to who knows where, not speaking to me for days. You are really a jerk...," He said in a slightly rude tone, he was clearly annoyed.

"Sorry, I didn't want it to look like that, it's just..." Your hands slid down the chains of the swing, "Damn, I don't even know how to put it into words..." You mumbled to yourself and paused, having to put your thoughts into words. Something you do often, he knew that. You looked back at him.

"Zhou Yu... I do love you. I'm panicked. I'm just shocked how someone like you could love me...I don't understand why. What do you see in me? I- I'm sorry for running away. I'm such a coward..." She mumbled that last part, her eyes getting slightly watery.

As much as he was annoyed, he listened to what you had to say, looking into your now watery eyes. He sighed, "I love you because you always treat me tenderly. Every time I'm with you, I'm always very happy. I love the way you look. Every time I'm with you, I feel meaningful..."

He gently grabbed one of your hands.

Your gaze softened hearing what he said, you didn't expect him to actually respond to that question... you glanced at his hand that grabbed yours. You hated being so emotional. Yet again, he left you lost for words, but this time you wouldn't run away. Not again...

He held your hand tighter, he pulled you towards him. He put his other hand under your chin and made you look up to him..

"I know you feel shy easily…but I didn't know you could be so scared…"

He paused for a second, looking at your watery eyes..

"Are you really worried about why I like you…?"

Using your other hand you moved his away from your face, turning your head away again not sure if you could face him again before bursting into tears, "I-I just… I'm surprised, I believe you can find someone better than me…"

He watched as you turned your head, looking away.

He let out a scoff again, he firmly grabbed your chin and turned you to look back at him.

He pulled you even closer to him. You looked up at him.

"Stop worrying about me finding someone else, because I just want you, no one else, just you."

As he made you look at him again, you broke... Tears slowly flowing down your face, you muttered your words, "停止，停止……" (Stop, stop)

He saw as you began to cry... Seeing you cry made his heart ache, he had never seen you cry before... He wiped some of your tears away with his thumb, he then spoke in a gentle tone

"Don't cry... Don't cry..."

The last time he had seen you cry was in primary school over some stupid reason, but now is it still a stupid reason? Though your face was towards him, your eyes looked away not being able to meet his gaze.

He noticed that you still looked away…

He pulled you even closer to him, he moved your arms and wrapped them around his waist, so that your face was now pressed onto his chest. He pulled you up from the swing, pulling you into a hug. You mumbled to yourself as the tears still ran down your face, "I hate the way you make me feel…"

"Hey... don't say that."

He gently ran his fingers through your hair, he could hear you mumbling against his chest, he let you lean against him, he felt how tears were still streaming down your face on to his shirt yet, he held you tight...

He pulled away slightly so he could look at your face. He gently held your chin, tilting your head up, he looked down at you. Your face tear-stained. Your eyes were red and a bit puffy, you looked at him in the eyes this time. You spoke softly, "why do you make me feel like this…?"

That was something he couldn't answer, nor were you expecting one.

He decided to stay silent and comfort you, you needed it. As you looked up at him, he gently wiped the remaining tears on your cheeks. He could see how your eyes were red and a little puffy. He stayed quiet, as you spoke softly, he gently caressed your face. He knew you didn't expect an answer from him.... So he just stayed silent, letting you speak what was on your mind.

"Every time you come near me, I feel pain in my chest… and when you look at me, it speeds up. Every time I see you, I feel excited… but for me, this feeling is a bit scary…," You spoke in a soft tone, your voice slightly shaky, you looked at him with watery eyes.

He just stood there, listening to what you had to say, you always called him a good listener... as he continued caressing your face with his hand.

"我爱你..." You said quietly still looking at him. (I love you)

He felt and heard as you said those words to him. Seeing and hearing you say it to him, made his heart beat faster...

He gave you a gentle and warm smile, and he pulled you closer to him, he held the back of your head with his hand, he gently caressed you and pulled you into another tight hug..

He spoke in a soft and gentle tone "我也爱你…" (I love you too)

You held each other for a bit longer before you spoke up breaking the comforting silence, "So…what are we? What do you want to be?"

He held you tightly in his arms for a while longer, he then leaned back a bit. He looked down at you and he replied, "I want to be your boyfriend, if you'll let me be..."

You were stunned yet again, "Yes, yes, I'd love that…"

[elodieunderglass]

Referring to you "anxieties of the culture" horror tropes post, I just watched the 1990 adaptation of IT and this comes less than a month after watching both Kolchak movies & starting the TV show. What do you think it was about the late-70s/early-80s that led to "the killer is a monster that hibernates for a set number of years before returning to perform the killings again, as a grim echo of the past, and it's up to the heroes to stop it now before it rears its ugly head again"? There's gotta be some "pass-the-buck" crisis that PEAKED in that time period, something that was a long time coming before that and may or may not have continued since. I don't think it's climate change, that wasn't really at Critical Mass yet until the HFC hairspray crisis of the mid-80s. Your thoughts?

(In reference to this post: https://www.tumblr.com/elodieunderglass/729604545735458816)

Oh that is SO interesting! I also like the Horrors of the Past that Re-Emerge. You get them in fantasy too. To some extent they’re quite nice, because they displace responsibility, allowing the heroes to grapple with something distanced. necromantically resurrected Zombie Nazis will always be a more appealing enemy, for a broad market, than your present-day actual real life QAnon uncle. You can blow up an Ancient Horror as much as you like, can’t you? You don’t need to worry about the tricky present-day political circumstances that birthed the serial killer if it’s actually an ancient time-travelling monster. Monsters are often articulated and described and used because they are “safe” in this way: a displaced thing that can be used. Separate from us in species, appearance, home planet, history of origin, motives, spacetime - the farther they are from us and our shared background, the more justifiable it is to nuke them from orbit, to make a splashy movie.

HOWEVER. As I said in that post - “horror reflects social anxieties” is a SUPER well-described piece of media study and you can read proper writing about that anywhere. I encourage you to seek it out! They say it much better than I do.

I also said in that post that I, myself, don’t watch horror/movies/film. It isn’t due to contempt for the genre, or fear of the content - I just can’t get into it or get immersed, which defeats the point of an immersive genre meant to provoke response. (For example, despite being explicitly told that I would love Stranger Things Season 4 and that I was required to write fic about it for a friend, I gave out at the beginning of season 2; despite being really fond of Welcome to Night Vale at a formative time of my life, I dropped out before StrexCorp. And those are things I generally liked, wanted to consume, and knew I would enjoy! It’s a me problem, and I’m not bothered by it. I am TOO BUSY.)

That’s just to say that I could spitball some thoughts, but I’d be out of my depth.

But here’s an idea. A very small minority of people in the notes took offence to me having meta thoughts about horror when I don’t consume the genre - and worse, saying them out loud, while also openly admitting that I’m out of my depth and would prefer an expert to say it better. “YOU are a COWARD,” they say. “The audacity of commenting on a trend in a genre that you don’t even watch.” “You complain so much but don’t even watch these films” “imagine writing all this with such a bad attitude about horror.” etc.

I think those people have effectively volunteered to write you an essay. They clearly have the horror-consuming chops! Perhaps not the reading comprehension … or analysis skills… but they definitely watch a lot more horror media than I do, so why not give them a crack at it? (This is jokes, don’t bother them.)

Alternatively - there are a lot of clever and savvy people with good takes around here, so they’re welcome to spin out some answers on this post.

[mikathemonster]

“under my skin”

author’s note: okay, SO. y’all seem to be eating these fics up ravenously, so here I am to supply food to the starving wolves. eat up, baby! I'm so nervous since this is my longest fic yet, but here’s some fun and sexy (slight) enemies to lovers smut to spice up the fluff I've been writing lately. don’t say I never did anything for you guys. happy holidays, happy new year, and happy reading :)

Pairing: Kíli / Gender-neutral Human Reader

Word Count: 14,873

summary: forced to be allies for the sake of preventing war, kíli could do nothing but find his way under your skin...

content warnings: Post BOTFA, Everyone Lives! AU, Enemies to lovers, minor injuries (but ouch man they hurt), a poorly written fight scene (im so sorry in advance), possible OOC Dwalin (let me know what y’all think), blood, mentions of violence (it’s LOTR, y’all), smut, fingering, handjob, unprotected sex, oral (male receiving), praise, cursing

DO NOT REPOST OR COPY. MINORS/AGLESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT.

No matter the obstacle in your harrowing journey, the reward was all you needed to quickly motivate yourself again. What journey, you ask? Why, it was an adventure of great status and power. Commissioned by the King Under the Mountain himself, you (along with a hand-picked team of established dwarves and men) were tasked with hunting down and tracking a rather grisly enemy: Aevar Godfred. Once a man known for his high position among the ranks of Gondor, he was now an exiled thief on the run. His latest snatching had been of three precious jewels of Erebor. Now, these jewels weren’t nearly as precious as the Arkenstone, but they were still regal enough, crafted by Thorin himself to symbolize the current royal line of Durin. One for the king: an emerald that glowed with a radiant green shimmer. One for the crown prince: a ruby that flickered like the flames of the forges. And the last one for the youngest prince: a sapphire that reflected light just like the vast seas.

Aevar, under the cover of night and the kingdom’s banquet of Durin’s Day, had snuck into Erebor and stolen the Royal Jewels, his slippery self escaping into the night only to finally be noticed the next morning by guards when it was found that the jewels had left the treasury. An issued warning had been sent to Gondor, but after being informed that Aevar himself had been exiled, Thorin had decided to settle matters by his own means. A simple capture mission, one that Thorin was hoping would end with a blade to the thief’s slimy neck once he was returned to Gondor.

You remembered Thorin’s words the day this journey had been pushed onto you as clear as ever. It was night, and the torches had cast a glowing aura about the king as he sat upon his stone-carved throne. You, along with two other dwarves known as Dwalin and Kíli and another man named Sigfred, kneeled before the throne as Thorin’s gruff and commanding voice filled the bedrock walls.

“It is upon you that I delegate this mission,” he said. “Two weeks past, a sniveling thief fell under our noses and stole precious jewels of the kingdom. Jewels that belong to royalty.” His expression was proud and bright, but his voice held a dark tone that conveyed his authority with a scary countenance. “Word spread to Gondor, but it now comes to our own hands to deal with this sniveling coward. Under the guidance of Balin, I have assembled you four to carry out this mission. Word has come to us that the thief has been spotted south of Mirkwood. I suspect he may be running to Rohan or the Wilderland for shelter. You are to find him, hunt him if you must, but return him alive and restore the jewels. I promise you will all be handsomely rewarded upon your successful return.”

You all raised your heads to look upon the king, who now stood proudly above you all with a daunting presence. “To aid us in our mission, Gondor has sent Y/N.” With a raised hand in your direction, the king introduced you to your group, and you stood tall. “They are our insurance, and are in charge of keeping you all to our word that no harm comes to Aevar Godfred.”

You nodded in agreement, bowing. “While he is your enemy, I can assure you that we plan to deal with him swiftly. We exiled him in the hopes that he would rot away. Now, we plan to imprison him for the rest of his days so he can torment no longer.”

“That should’ve been your first decision,” one of the dwarves piped up, and you turned to meet his glare. Two fierce brown eyes met yours, their deep color matching the fiery attitude as the younger dwarf of your troop.

“Kíli, hold your tongue.” Dwalin warned, his own steely eyes now turned to the young prince.

“I’m sorry Uncle, but I cannot. I will not,” the young dwarf said, who you now knew to be Erebor’s Prince Kíli. And what an ignorant prince he seemed to be. “Why does Gondor wish to keep their thief after banishing him to be our problem? Why now do they intend to dispose of him?” The young dwarf stood now, palms open to Thorin in a silent plea of an explanation.

“To avoid battle.” You interrupted, growing impatient with him so soon after meeting him. He looked to you confused, before returning his quizzical glance to his uncle, who merely nodded.

“It was agreed that Aevar Godfred would be returned to Gondor as an insurance of no ill will between our kingdoms.” His voice was softer now as he approached his nephew, offering an apologetic hand on his shoulder. Carefully, he leaned into his shoulder, his voice dropping to a whisper. “We cannot afford to wage any kind of disagreement with Gondor over this man, nor can we afford his burglary to go unpunished. This is the only way to assure both.”

Though you couldn’t hear the words Thorin had whispered to Kíli, you figured you already knew based on Kíli’s reaction, his eyes widening and his jaw setting tightly. His tongue had left him, only responding with a small nod of acknowledgement before Thorin pulled away, casting a glance to you before returning to his throne.

“As I said before, Y/N will be your aid and your warden. I trust you all to behave.” Now back to his regular gruff self, he cleared his throat. “Offering his services to us freely, Sigfred here will serve as your guide. His knowledge of the Wilderland is vast, and I pray it will serve you well on this journey.”

Sigfred too now rose, a silent nod from the ginormous auburn-haired man, whose mustache twitched as his gaze pierced through you. You had heard tales of a wandering ranger from the Wilderland, their rumors passing off as myth as it was hard to survive without aid in those lands. After all, nothing came from the Wilderlands save for wild beasts of enormous strength. But here he stood, six feet and four inches tall, with hair covering his chest and arms as shown through his tunic.

“As for warriors, Erebor supplies the journey with Dwalin and Kíli.” Thorin finished his introductions, his hands offering the two dwarves, of which only Dwalin was left kneeling. But that didn’t last long as he finally stood, arms crossed.

“For the journey, I offer my axes,” he grumbled. His voice was deep and gruff, and scars littered his arms, reminiscent of battles long ago.

“And I my sword and bow,” spoke Kíli, who now seemed to know how to bite his tongue.

“It is done, then.” Thorin said with a nod. “By first light, you all shall begin your journey. Rest now, and be swift.” And with a single hand he dismissed you all, leaving you to return to your lodgings within the mountain halls. But as you left, you felt Kíli’s gaze bore stubborn holes into the back of your skull.

That was three weeks ago. It was the money that kept you here, you had to remind yourself. Nothing else but the bounty of gold promised to you by the King Under the Mountain himself, Thorin Oakenshield. Nothing else, despite the fact that you were already beginning to feel your patience wearing thin. In just three short weeks, the young prince of Erebor had been nothing but insufferable and unprofessional. Constantly up to pranks at the expense of you and your sanity (he had attempted to jest with Sigfred, but it seemed the poor dwarf prince was intimidated by the silent man who stood almost two feet taller than he), he was driving you up a wall. The few times Dwalin had put him in check were the only moments that brought you relief these days. That, and the quiet nights you all slept in the shadows. It seemed the only good thing Kíli provided was his skill with a bow and scouting. Though, a part of you was also entertained by his stories, which he told often to Sigfred whenever he could. Though intimidated, it seemed the young dwarf was also awestruck by the tall ranger. It was only when he told such stories of dragons and elves that you found yourself fully listening to him.

But as more days passed, he seemed to be getting bolder. To begin the next week, he had decided to swipe your clothes while you were caught unawares, hiding them while you were bathing nearby! You were lucky it was Sigfred and not Dwalin who found you panicking naked about the springs, pushing your embarrassment down knowing for a fact that the quiet man wouldn’t tell a soul. You were lucky he had helped by finding and bringing you your clothes (lest you be caught meandering naked just outside of Mirkwood) but still, a part of your dignity had evaporated that day. You could feel yourself being pushed to the brink by his antics, and weren’t sure just how much you could take it.

A few more days passed, and finally you had a lead on Aevar Godfred. You had caught wind of a strange man shirking about past the Brown Lands, headed west towards Fangorn. You thought that he was possibly trying to run to Rohan in hopes of sanctuary, as Thorin had theorized all those weeks ago. Mind set on tracking him, you followed Sigfred as he led the way, his fast legs leaving you and the other two dwarves quite winded by the time you set up camp the next night. Quickly, you all settled under the shelter of wooden ruins that must have been a stable at one point. Dwalin was quick to get the fire going, sending out Kíli to go hunting for tonight’s dinner. Sigfred, who was a vegetarian, was put on watch.

With a tired demeanor, you sunk to the ground, sitting near Dwalin at the fire. For now, while Kíli was away, you could relax. A sigh escaped your lips, and you tried to stretch your back, thoughts eating away at the back of your mind. “I worry about our journey ahead,” you said. Dwalin responded with nothing, but the glint in his eyes told you he was listening. “I’ve heard rumors about Fangorn Forest, and it’s not one to lose yourself in.” You straightened your back, leaning closer to Dwalin, your voice now a whisper. “They say the trees there are different, they’re not normal. They… they can speak to each other. Whisper, mumble, and moan. And sometimes, they say they can even walk.”

“And does someone of your status believe these tales?” Dwalin mused, and you could hear a slight mocking lilt to his voice, though you took care not to address it. He didn’t seem spooked by your words, not in the slightest. “Why lead us there then?”

“I hope to go around,” you replied. “But if Sigfred finds more tracks, we may have no choice but to venture into those woods.” You leaned back, laying on your back now among the grass and twigs. “I’m beginning to worry about how long this is taking. Surely Erebor wouldn’t claim war over something small like this.” You had muttered the last part to yourself, but Dwalin’s keen ears had caught it.

“Thorin would not choose war so easily, not since the days of the dragon,” he said. “But I say murder lies on his mind often with the likes of thieves.”

You nodded, listening. It made more sense to think of it like that, and it started to make you wonder if the council of Gondor had sent you here as “aid” merely to appease the stubborn dwarves. A milk run of sorts. A small errand to busy the minds of children. You groaned at the thought, not too pleased with the idea of possibly being a scapegoat for something as small as this.

The sound of returning footsteps stirred your thoughts, and you were quick to stand back onto your feet. You knew it was Kíli, and if Kíli was returning so soon, you had no doubt that his antics would as well. You weren’t in the mood to deal with him, especially now with all these doubts swimming in your head. You needed to clear your mind, and so you walked away from the fire and into the night. Not too far, mind you, but far enough to feel alone with the crickets and the stars. They were shining brightly tonight, and you wondered what it would be like to touch one as you sat back in the grass. You wondered what it would be like to fly up, up, up into the sky and sit on a cloud, far away from dwarven princes and thieves and political feuds.

You weren’t quite sure how much time had passed before you had finally decided you should return, standing up and dusting yourself off before a soft voice cut through your thoughts.

“Are you not going to eat?” The voice startled you, coming from right behind you and causing you to trip and fall backwards on top of the poor person. Well, maybe they didn’t deserve that much pity, as you quickly realized it was Kíli who had startled you.

“Gods, make yourself known next time!” You grumbled, annoyed, and you brought your fist to his chest in spite. But after a quick wince of pain, all he did was smile, and suddenly you realized how close you two were, with you still on top of him.

“My, my. Falling for me already?” He beamed, coughing out a pained chuckle with his cheeky grin catching you off guard as you hurriedly sat up and away from him, trying your best to regain your composure.

“Don’t get it twisted,” you said. “If I spend one more minute this close to you, I think I’ll go insane.”

He too started to rise, propping himself up on his elbows. “I think we finally agree, but don’t go making empty promises.” He chuckled, and you could have sworn he even winked. The gall! The nerve! Gods! Your cheeks heated up in anger and embarrassment at his words.

“The only promise I’ll give is my hands around your throat if you don’t stop.” You warned, finally finding the courage to stand.

He sighed wistfully, getting himself back up. “I’ll warn you; don’t go making promises you can’t keep, now. You’d be surprised to find I might like that.”

Your eyes widened, and your ears and cheeks flushed again. You were so unbelievably caught off guard by his flirtatious comments that you couldn't even remember why he had come to retrieve you in the first place. Now he was beginning to push his luck. “Will you stop these jokes, already?”

“Jokes? I can assure you that I’m definitely into-”

“No, stop! Stop it! I’m done!” You said, frustrated. “For two months now we’ve been at this, and for two months now you’ve made a complete fool of me! I can’t take these pranks of yours anymore, I refuse! Hiding my weapons was mildly annoying, painting my face in my sleep was immature, and don’t even get me started on hiding my clothes while I’m bathing! Is nothing sacred to you?”

His eyes widened, surprised by your outburst. A heavy silence fell as he studied your face carefully. He took a step closer, his eyes holding some sort of apologetic worry that seemed so foreign to you now compared to his usual grins. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop.” His words were honest, and his voice had softened. “It was all in good fun, I meant no ill will.”

“Good fun?” You scoffed, crossing your arms. “I was left to wander around naked because of you!”

“A sight I wish I could’ve seen,” he coughed to himself. “But really, I meant nothing by it. Despite how lovely it is to see you flustered, I don’t wish to make an enemy of you.” He spoke truthfully, though hidden was another truth you couldn’t fully discern. Offering a hand, he looked into your eyes with his own deep brown ones that shone in the starlight. “A truce. I promise to leave you alone for the rest of the journey, I swear.”

You were suddenly finding yourself taken aback by how quickly his mood had shifted from playful to serious. Before the journey had even started, he had been glaring daggers into your backside. What could have possibly made him change his mind in these last two months? Even his pranks had gone from tormenting the group as a whole to being more targeted towards you as of late. What was in his mind to focus so much attention on driving you insane? But his expression was earnest, and it suddenly made you second-guess yourself, now embarrassed that you had made such a big deal of it all. “No, you… You don’t have to do all that.” You sighed, swallowing your pride for the first time with him. “I just… If we are to continue being allies, then I can’t keep being some little game for you to entertain yourself with. I deserve some respect.”

He nodded, understanding now that his attempts of flirting with you had come off as harassment, and was feeling deeply ashamed. “You deserve so much more than that,” he said, retracting his hand. His voice had said those words so softly, like a feather caught in a breeze. And just as quickly as silence fell again, he was quick to do a silly little bow to you.

“From now on, I’m at your service,” he smiled. “Allow me to extend my services for your forgiveness, if you’ll allow it.”

You swallowed, not sure of what to make of his gesture. Perhaps he was simply joking again, but perhaps he wasn’t. And perhaps you were willing to risk those odds, for some reason. You stood for half a second before sighing. Your mind was made up. “Alright,” you spoke. “But one more chance. That’s all you’re getting, so you better not disappoint me.”

Relieved you accepted him for now, he beamed, and in the same breath realized just how much he was beginning to fall for you.

Finally, you were hot on Aevar’s trail. Two and a half months into your journey, with which Kíli had thus been true to his word, and you had found it. Hidden just in front of the forest’s entrance, in a now-abandoned shack along the main road, you had spotted a campfire. And not just any campfire, but the likes of which belonged to Aevar Godfred. You knew him well based on his face, for he had been born with a scar along his cheek that was hard to miss through the windows of the shack, and even harder to forget. Behind trees, you kept hidden, retreating back to tell the others of your good fortune. Finally, this would all be over soon. Or at least half of the journey would be.

It seemed the only one who had been excited by the news was Kíli, his eyes shining brightly and eager to get to work when you had told the group of your findings. Dwalin himself had also shown relief, though from all his years he knew better than to celebrate early. Sigfred, for once, showcased a small smile, though concern still laced his brow. Now, all that needed to happen was the forming of a plan. After quick deliberation, it was settled; you’d all wait him out and sack him in his sleep.

Hours passed by until the fire’s light was seen dying, and further scouting from Kíli proved useful as ever. Aevar Godfred, the scourge of both Gondor and Erebor, was finally asleep.

With careful steps and baited breath, you all surrounded him, wary of waking him. It had been decided that the “sacking” would go along in this fashion: Kíli, with a drawn bow and keen eye, would keep his sights drawn on Aevar in the event that he tried something nasty upon waking. Dwalin, armed with his sheer muscle, would guard the door of the building. Sigfred stood guard outside, for he was the last resort if Aevar tried to make a break for it. And as for you, you carefully made your way to Aevar’s sleeping figure, maneuvering his weapons away from his sleeping body until you were ready for the next step.

Quickly, you gave a glance to Dwalin, who nodded to let you know that he was ready any time. Turning your glance, you now looked at Kíli, who looked quite intimidating now that his weapon was drawn. He gave you a knowing look, slowly nodding, and you knew it was time. You drew a breath, unsheathed your dagger, and pounced.

You awoke the thief with a start, your blade drawn to his neck as you straddled his body, digging your knees into his wrists to prevent him from moving. His head whipped wildly about, assessing the situation, before his head made contact with yours, and hard. Your grip faltered for a moment, and Aevar took his chance. Springing up, he swung his legs at Kíli, missing the dwarf’s fired arrow just barely, though it cut his cheek. Down Kíli tumbled, and down Aevar flew to swipe at his weapons, but not before you threw your dagger as a quick-ditch method. It managed to pierce him in his backside, and the traitor let out a great howl of pain, dropping to his knees but still desperately scurrying to try and retrieve some sort of weapon.

“Dwalin, now!” You commanded, holding your head in your right hand. You wondered if it would bruise, but found yourself more annoyed that Godfred had gotten you with such child’s play. Kíli himself was also finding himself annoyed, not having missed a target in a long while. He would later blame it on the cramped space, but that was no matter for now.

Dwalin was swift as he was scary, kicking Aevar down onto his stomach and holding him there with his foot before binding his hands behind his back, all the while with the cowardly man howling and moaning. With one swift hit, Dwalin knocked the man out, and his body thumped on the broken wooden floors.

“Dwalin! We need him alive!” You said, worried.

“Alive,” he repeated. “And I’d rather think quietly, too.”

You groaned, not wanting to bicker. The important part was that you got him. You had ensnared your prey, and despite the annoyance you were thanking the stars that it had been so easy. Stumbling onto your hands and knees, you issued another order.

“Kíli, find the jewels. Quick.” You said, and Kíli wasted no time in searching, tearing apart Aevar’s things one by one. But he was starting to get frustrated, with each bag and nook and cranny turning up empty.

“They’re not here.. They’re not here!” He looked at you with exasperation, and you finally stood up, dumbfounded.

“Look again, Kíli,” Dwalin commanded. “Find them now.”

Both of you now searched, hands tearing the place apart together until just under the floorboards, you saw something shine from the moonlight trickling in the window. Quickly, you got on all fours, prying the floor open only to cut yourself on a sharp nail. You winced, a few curses expelling themselves from your lips as you stumbled back, catching yourself with your elbow. Kíli was quick to notice, casting a worried look to your current state before finishing what you had started. He pried open the floor, and there they were. Tucked and wrapped in a loose scarf sat the jewels, the sapphire peeking out in the moonlight. It was the sapphire that you had seen.

“We found them!” He called out, a laugh of relief escaping him as he raised them in his hand to show Dwalin and Sigfred, who had finally come in after realizing all had went well so far.

You smiled in relief, but quickly found yourself focusing back on your hand, which now felt as though it were burning and going numb at the same time. Though it was bleeding a lot, as being a long cut that ran from your middle finger to the base of your thumb, you were lucky it seemed to have only cut skin and not tissue. But still, it was deep, creating a thin gash on your hand. This plus your combined headache was making it harder for you to stay present in the moment. Your head pounded still from the impact, and you partially wondered if you were having a concussion. You ripped off some fabric from your tunic, quickly wrapping your hand for now, though you knew it would have to be treated sooner than later. But now, there was still work to do.

Just one hour later, you had all set up inside the abandoned shack. Quickly, everyone had gotten to work. Sigfred had been put on watch after tying and binding Aevar up to one of the shack’s foundational beams tight enough that you almost pitied him. Keyword: almost. Dwalin had rekindled the dying fire just in time for rain to begin falling, with droplets peppering in through the broken patches of the thatch roofing. Kíli had raided the rest of Aevar’s belongings to supply everyone with decent enough rations, and you… You hadn’t been much help, not that you could help it. You leaned against the wall of the ruined building, wincing at any slight movement in your right hand due to the placement of the cut. A part of you silently wished it had been your non dominant hand; at least then, you’d still be some sort of useful.

Taking a seat by your side, Kíli put both of your rations on the ground before leaning closer, his brows furrowed and laced with concern. “Let me see,” he said, awfully close. And reluctantly, you offered him your hand. You had half the mind not to just because of how much he seemed to get on your nerves, or how much you wanted to seem strong despite the burning feeling, but you were worried too much about it being infected to be in any position above him right now.

His thicker fingers delicately unwrapped the tunic scraps off of the cut, soaked in blood that now looked dark from the amount you had bled. His jaw set tightly after getting a good look at it, and he drew a skin from his bag. “We need to clean it,” he said. He opened the skin with his teeth, pouring a liquid on your wound that you quickly realized from the smell and awful sting alone was liquor, quite possibly ale. You hissed, tensing everywhere as your head fell back against the wall in pain. It ebbed in your hand, a burning and stinging sensation that made you want to chop the whole hand off and be done with it. You bit your lip hard, groaning in pain. You had tried jerking your hand back to you, but Kíli’s once delicate hold now gripped your wrist tightly to make sure he didn’t miss any spots.

“It has to be cleaned,” he explained, though you already knew that quite well. “You’re doing well, it’s alright.” His reassuring words startling you as you quickly met his gaze, a sense of uncertainty in your eyes. Perhaps he pitied you right now, you thought to yourself. He was being too nice, and you didn’t know how to respond to it. It seemed like another prank, another ruse. You broke the eye contact held between you, your pride getting the best of you as you only nodded. Eventually, the pain dulled down, and Kíli’s grip loosened, setting your hand down to retrieve some fresh gauze to wrap your wound.

“It’s not too deep,” he said. “But you won’t be able to make much use out of your hand for now.” You turned back to him, refusing to take your eyes away from him now as he wrapped you up. No, it wasn’t refusal, now that you thought about it. You simply couldn’t look away. You had become all too interested in the concentrated gaze he held, his hair falling in the front of his face. Without a thought behind it, you raised your other hand to his face, tucking away the loose hair behind his ear. He tensed at the contact, quick to look at you all wide-eyed like a deer caught at night. You couldn’t read his face, and soon realized just what you had done. Coming back to your senses, you cleared your throat, sitting up straighter.

“It is… Um, is it finished?” You asked. Kíli took a second longer to bring himself back, before he too cleared his throat.

“Yes, yes,” he said. “But be careful. Here.” His hands left your own, and you found yourself being disappointed by it, though you didn’t understand why. He handed you your food for the night, and you softly thanked him, being careful with your injury as you ate.

“He’ll be waking up soon,” Dwalin grunted, and you were reminded that you had an audience this whole time. “What’s the plan from here?”

“Gondor isn’t too far from here,” you spoke carefully, envisioning the route home in your mind. “But the jewels and prisoner must be returned to Erebor.”

“And so they shall,” Kíli nodded, now seated next to Dwalin, leaving his spot beside you. Again, disappointment crept into your mind from the gesture, but you still didn’t understand why you felt such a way.

“Aye, they will.” Dwalin agreed. “But traveling with a sniveling thief won’t be easy. I doubt he’ll be more than willing to come along, and I don’t want more dead weight for the journey back home.” He grunted disapprovingly, not liking the idea of traveling with Aevar. Not that you blamed him, though.

“As much as it doesn’t sound appealing, it’s what your king wanted us to do.” You said. “Gondor, if they even still want him, will want him from your kingdom more than my own hands.”

Kíli quirked an eyebrow in confusion, looking at Dwalin and then you. “What do you mean by ‘if’ they still want him?”

You sighed, finishing your meal quickly. “My orders were more vague than I told you; I’m not entirely sure what will happen to him once he’s brought to Minas Tirith. But regardless, we should follow along as we have. We should leave early tomorrow and make use of the light. I’ll take first watch.”

Kíli was still curious of your orders, but decided against discussing further. It was late, and everyone was tired from the journey. Sigfred let out a small sigh of relief after being relieved from his duty, and soon everyone was preparing for the night to sleep.

Night crept on, much like the thunderstorm that raged overhead, and you had been at watch for a few hours now, with everyone sleeping at the other end of the shack. You too had begun to start feeling tired, but the thunder clapping flooded your ears and kept you awake. It seems it managed to stir others at times too, for soon Aevar awoke, tied down and gagged. You rolled your eyes at the sight as he began groaning and sputtering muffled curses at you through the fabric stuffed in his mouth, quite enraged to be in his current state.

“Silence,” you ordered, keeping your voice low. “You have no one but yourself to blame. We’re taking you back to Erebor, where your punishment awaits.”

But Aevar was a fool, and a stubborn one at that. Managing to spit out the gag to your surprise, he then spat venom at you. “Do what you will, but as soon as you fall asleep I’ll unbind myself, slit your disgusting throats and be off with what’s mine. I stole them once and I’ll do it again.”

“Oh, don’t make me laugh,” you scoffed, glaring at him. “Give it up; you have no power here, nor anywhere else for that matter.” Your words were fueled by your distaste for his pitiful arrogance. “Did you really think you were so smart? So clever? You stole something when nobody was watching, and now act as if you’ve hung the stars themselves. Get a hold of yourself, Aevar. You’re nothing but a worthless cheat.”

“So says you, who bends every which way for the sake of a man you call King.” He said. “And I’m the one without worth? If I’m but dirt, then what does that make you?”

You didn’t answer at first, but your expression became stony as your free hand held the hilt of your dagger tightly. “It’ll make you nothing but a distant memory by the time we arrive in Erebor. Now be quiet if you know what’s good for you. It would be wise for you to keep your tongue once you’re there, unless you’d like for me to cut it out?”

“You don’t scare me,” he hissed. “You’re just a slave to your government. A pawn to your politics. And a whore to your-”

Quickly, you decided you had had enough of his mad ramblings, grasping the blade of your dagger to strike him in the head with its hilt, knocking him unconscious once more and right in tandem with an awful clapping of powerful thunder. He made another slimy grunt before going out cold, and upon seeing the slight cut on your hand from your grip, you dropped the blade, watching it clatter to the floor. You were lucky this cut was lighter than the one on your dominant hand, and even luckier that your dagger was dull. Only a few drops of blood escaped before you wrapped your other hand as best as you could, relieved that you could still use it despite your rashness leading you to now have two cut hands.

But you hadn’t been quiet enough, it seemed. From hearing the clatter, Kíli awoke, his eyes squinting in the dark to find you standing over Aevar’s body, which had sunk back into his original position. He stood up, making his way behind you as he peered over at the thief, who now lay unconscious. His gaze shifted between the dagger on the floor and the thief tied up. “What happened?”

“He woke up, just like Dwalin said,” you spoke plainly. “So I put him back to sleep.” Now starting to ebb away from your dark thoughts, you turned to look at the dwarf. “Did I wake you?”

“No,” he lied, his voice soft. “The thunder. It’s just loud tonight.”

You nodded, sitting back down against the wall like you had done earlier. “I see. It’ll probably continue on until the morning, too.”

Concern laced his brow as he studied your face, kneeling now in front of you. “Y/N…” Your name sounded so delicate on his tongue. “Is… Is everything alright?”

“I’ll be fine,” you said. “He just… He got under my skin, that's all.”

Now Kíli nodded, and repositioned himself to sit next to you. “I see.” A small pause as he attempted to cheer you up. “And here I was, thinking that was my job.”

You gave a weak chuckle, smiling softly as your head leaned back, hitting the wall. A comfortable silence fell over you two, or as silent as you could get with the commotion going on outside. “Listen, Kíli,” you whispered.

“Yes?” He looked at you, his eyes shining like stars in the dark sky. You didn’t understand why you thought of them like that, but you did.

“About earlier. I wanted to thank you for patching me up. I should’ve said it earlier but I let my pride get in the way. I’m sorry.” You spoke earnestly, wanting to wipe the guilt out of your memory by setting the record straight. “You’ve been true to your word since our last conversation, and here I am still finding myself not trusting you. It’s unfair. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he smiled, letting out a breathy laugh. “I’m nothing but trouble in your eyes, you have every right to keep looking over your shoulder. I’m just glad you didn’t suffer anything worse.”

You sighed, nodding with a hum of acknowledgment, but his words seemed to bite you on the inside. Another pause came, followed by your voice. “You’re not.. You’re not trouble.” You spoke carefully, not even entirely sure where you were going with this yourself. “I’m just not used to such antics, least of all from a prince.” He chuckled at this.

“Sometimes,” you looked away, not being able to look at him while you admitted the next bit. “I suppose sometimes, they could even be considered funny.”

You kept your gaze away, but saw in your peripheral that Kíli seemed shocked by your words. “Funny? Oh Mahal, how hard did he hit your head?”

You whipped your head back around at the accusation, finding it already annoying that it had taken so much pride to give the dwarf a compliment. “Oh please! If he had hit me any harder I may have said I was in love with you,” you said sarcastically, but it seemed that Kíli didn’t find it as funny. Or not at first, at least, as a gruff chuckle left him a bit delayed.

“Ah, I see.” He said. “Well, it’s good to see you’re not hurt in the head, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to insult me nearly as easily.” He gave a cheeky grin and you rolled your eyes, shrugging off his teasing. “I like seeing this side of you, Y/N.”

“What, injured?” You raised your wrapped hands, confused by his statement.

“Open,” he said, and continued to elaborate at the sight of your raised eyebrow. “When we first met, you were so cold and kept mostly to yourself. I’m glad the journey has brought us closer.”

“And when we first met, I could say the same of you,” you retorted. “Don’t think I didn’t notice your glares and sneers when I left each room.” Kíli shrunk a little at this, finding himself embarrassed.

“I was…” He explained. “I was rather rash in my thoughts, I’d say. But I know better now. I think I know you a little better now, too.” You scoffed at this, rolling your eyes.

“Oh really? And what have you found out, you little spy?” You taunted, raising a brow.

“That you’re just as strong as you are stubborn.” He began. “That no matter what happens, you always seem to be able to motivate yourself and get back up again. And that you take your job seriously. So seriously that you never seem to have time for a joke or a laugh. But when you do laugh, your eyes crinkle up like paper. It makes me wish to see your laugh more often.” He looked over at you, meeting your eyes now. Your face was flushed from hearing such words, but you couldn’t bring yourself to escape his stare. No, you found yourself lost in it. Two swirling pools of a deep brown that seemed to drown you. So deep, in fact, that you feared if you dove in, you might never come up for air. You found yourself speechless, not sure of what to say or how to continue such a conversation. Kíli continued it for you.

“You also have quite a temper,” he laughed. “You get wrinkles on your forehead, especially when you’re cross with me. And your fist stings just as hard as your glares. It reminds me sometimes of my mother; it seems you both think I’m reckless.”

Finally, your words returned to you as you cleared your throat to find them. “Well she’s right, you know,” you said. “You are reckless. A complete idiot driven by impulse. But you’re smart, nonetheless.” You sighed, pushing your pride aside for just a moment, long enough to admit your favorite things about him. “You’re incredibly skilled with a bow, I’d say you even rival elvish warriors.”

“You think so?” He asked, smiling. You nodded.

“But your strategies need more work. You’re smart with a blade, and you’re incredibly determined, but you’re still impulsive. You don’t look out for yourself enough.” You tried your best not to scold him, but still found yourself frustrated at the facts. “You try your best to look out for everyone else in the group, but do nothing for yourself. It’s exhausting. If you continue to do so, you’re only going to get yourself hurt.” You wanted to say more, but bit your tongue, lest you admit a tiny part of yourself cared about him.

“So the immovable Y/N truly does worry about me,” he teased, but his face dulled at the thought. “But you’re right. At least, that’s what I’ve been told many times by many people. I let my emotions get the best of me, it seems.”

You felt bad for chiding him, shifting yourself to face him more as you sighed. “It’s not entirely a bad thing, you know.” He looked back up at you, curious for you to say more. “Emotions are good, it means you have a heart, and that’s very rare to find these days in times of war. You have the heart of a warrior, Kíli.” His smile returned at your words, and he found himself falling deeper into your eyes this time.

“You know,” he spoke, his voice soft. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a soft spot for me.” You flushed again, your eyes going wide. “Either that, or you’ve gone delirious with infection. I think it’s poisoning your mind!” Your breath of relief (that you weren’t even aware you had let out) left him laughing at your disposition.

“Well if that were the case,” you grumbled. “It would be from your own lack of medical expertise.” Kíli smiled, rolling his own eyes, and you were beginning to find yourself very tired from the night, your eyelids growing heavy and your yawns coming in more frequently. The thunder outside now seemed so distant in your sleepy mind. How long had it been? Four, five hours? You stretched your exhausted body, trying to find comfort against the wall.

“I can take over,” he spoke, stirring you from your thoughts. “I don’t mind. You need the rest, anyways.” You shook your head no, stubborn as you were.

“I’m fine,” you said.

“You’re tired,” he said. “Just rest. I’m quite awake now, don’t worry. I can stand watch.”

You sighed, not wanting to bicker. “Fine, but only for an hour. Not a moment longer, wake me up once it’s over.” You groaned, resting your head against the wall to sleep, not bothering to move from your spot, still intent on watching later as you shut your eyes.

Kíli huffed at your stubbornness. “Y/N, here.” You felt his hand come across your face, guiding your head into his lap. Your eyes shot open for a second, startled at the gesture.

“What… What are you-” you tried to speak, but were interrupted.

“Shh, rest now,” he said. “I don’t want you to have a stiff neck for the journey back. Unless you’d rather take the floor?”

You said nothing in response, not having the energy to fight or the courage to taunt him back. A small sigh left your lips and you closed your eyes again, drifting off to sleep.

The next few weeks seemed to fly by. You all wasted no time in hurrying back to Erebor, though the journey itself would take another month and a half. Your days were filled with hiking the forests, hills, and mountains as the sun rose and set around you all constantly. But despite the fast progress you had been making, the journey was far from quiet. Aevar made sure of that, constantly whining and groveling only to spit insults whenever someone wasn’t giving him the attention he so desperately sought. You had all realized early on that rendering him unconscious never solved the problem like you had hoped it would. So instead, you had chained him up, tying his hands together with a long rope you could pull on to ensure he followed. It was mostly Dwalin’s job to do this, being one of the more physically strong ones. Sigfred had been in charge a few times in the past, but quickly found he didn’t have half the stubborn determination that Dwalin did.

Kíli had been put on as the leader of the pack lately, often scouting ahead and helping ensure the road you all traveled was safe and swift. He seemed to have a new energy about him lately too, but you chalked up his eagerness as just wanting to be home soon. You too were ready to return to Erebor already, the journey having set a new ache in your bones that you wished a decent bed would soothe. But you’d be lying if you said you also didn’t share a newfound energy. And it wasn’t because your hands were healing up quickly, either.

Ever since that first night with Aevar, you had found Kíli invading your mind much more than you deemed necessary. You now watched him closely, catching yourself studying him like a prey does of a hunter, though you knew in your heart that he was no such thing. But still, you found yourself strangely timid around him now. His smiles slowly became contagious, his laughs leaving you flustered now. You had no clue what to make of it, and silently cursed yourself all the while. You didn’t want to address the fact that you were finding yourself more and more drawn to him, and had silently chosen not to address any of these feelings until you reached Erebor’s mountain gates.

But it was on days like this that you were finding it harder and harder to do such a thing, as Kíli seemed to always want to be at your side whenever there was a break to do so. Not that you had any courage to deny him, though. A secret part of you enjoyed the way his face seemed to light up during your conversations, a stark contrast to how you two had originally gotten off upon meeting each other.

The night was young, and you had all just reached the dense and dark forest of Mirkwood, setting up camp quickly. It was better to go through Mirkwood during the day, for it was so dark at night that you couldn’t even see your hand if you waved it in front of your own face. Sigfred had gotten the fire started, with Dwalin taking first watch, tying Aevar to a tree, much to the thief’s dismay. It was your turn to hunt tonight’s dinner, as your rations were all running low, and so you set out just a little ways away from your campsite.

Determined, you snuck around the fields surrounding the forest until you found a small river. With eager eyes, you stepped into the shallow end of the waters, drawing your daggers as you let the moonlight glimmer off the stream, waiting eagerly to see the shimmer of fish scales. Though it was a lot of waiting, you were eager and patient for the reward of fresh fish. One by one, you managed to stab each fish with great accuracy, only gathering enough to eat for tonight; any leftovers would probably spoil during the remainder of the journey. Waiting just a little longer to catch one last fish, your focus was stirred by footsteps approaching you. You looked up, keeping your dagger taught in your hand, until you realized it was just Kíli who stood at the top of the riverbank, peering down at you. You sighed, relieved it was just him.

“You know, for a dwarf,” you chuckled. “You’re quite the master of stealth. It’s starting to scare me how quiet you can walk.” He smiled, running a hand through his hair.

“Apologies, I meant not to startle you. I actually came to offer aid; there’s not much to do at camp.” His hands drifted to his bow, holding it up for you to see. You nodded in acknowledgement.

“I appreciate it, but I’m almost done. You can help me carry these back though, if you’d like,” you gestured to the fish, and he nodded with a delighted hum, climbing down to the edge of the river’s shores to get a closer look after putting his bow away.

“A fine dinner, I’m sure,” he grinned. “Caught by an even finer hunter, no doubt.” You flushed at his words, fiddling with your dagger to avoid looking nervous. His words were like honey, and if you weren’t careful, you’d find yourself stuck in their sweetness. A part of you wanted to talk about your newfound feelings, though this was all foreign territory to you. You didn’t even know where to start.

“You’re too kind,” was all you could mutter out before hunching back down into the waters to search for the glimmer of fish again. You needed a distraction, something to pull you out of the enchanting reverie of Kíli Durin, and he could sense this, growing a little concerned.

“Is everything alright?” He asked, seating himself next to your pile of caught fish, all of good size for tonight’s dinner. You dare not look back at him, feigning ignorance.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” You spoke absentmindedly, trying harder to focus on your hunting. And soon, you saw another shimmer of scales heading right your way.

“It feels like you’ve grown a little distant, ever since that night we caught Aevar,” he said, causing you to slip up and narrowly miss the fish. You huffed quietly as you watched it dart away with frantic speed. It seems there was no avoiding this, no matter how hard you wanted to. You stood straight again, looking at him nervously.

“What do you mean?” You asked, hoping it was enough to make up an excuse for. What you hadn’t expected was to see Kíli’s expression so worried, almost afraid. But not the fear one has in danger, no. It seemed like an emotional fear, an anxiety over the anticipation of your conversation. And it seemed you shared it, too.

He chose his next words carefully. “You talk less, at least when you’re around me. You no longer seem to enjoy being near me once we make camp. I just… Is it something I did? Did I make you uncomfortable in some way?” His eyes seemed to hold a slight hurt in them, and it broke you in two to see him in such a way.

You mentally cursed yourself, not realizing in your own emotional troubles that you had also brought Kíli some pain. You quickly shook your head, denying his questions. “No! No, I promise that isn’t it,” you said. But you didn’t know where to go from there, your words catching in your throat. Kíli stepped forward, his boots almost submerging in the river’s waters.

“Then what is it, Y/N?” His voice always spoke your name so beautifully, so delicately, and you wanted to tell him that, but now wasn’t the time. You weren’t even sure if you could bring yourself to tell him. You yourself didn’t even fully understand how you felt towards him, and it seemed to only bring frustration to you, especially right now when all you wanted to do was shout about how you couldn’t erase his smile from your mind.

“I…” you tripped over your own thoughts, finding yourself frustrated to tears that you couldn’t even say such a simple thing. But then again, it wasn’t simple. Not to you, at least. “You don’t bring me discomfort,” you reassured. “I just… There’s so much in my mind right now, and I have no idea how to tell you about any of it.”

Kíli took a step further, now in the waters with you as he approached, his hands reaching out for your own. Gingerly, you took them, drawing a breath. His gaze was so gentle, so patient. “Is there anything I can do to help ease your mind?” he offered, and you frowned, unsure of what would even help at this moment.

“I don’t know,” you said. “I’m not even sure I know what to make of these thoughts for myself, Kíli.”

“Then tell me what ails you,” he said. “And I will do my best to help.”

You exhaled, nodding as you collected your thoughts. “It…” you started nervously. “It’s so strange, the way I feel about you. At first, I thought you must have hated me. Why else were you always out to get me with your pranks and your jests? Or your mocking, flirting comments? But as soon as I addressed it, you were so quick to stop…” You looked back at him, and he nodded, begging you to continue. Encouraged, you took a breath.

“And then that night, the night we captured Aevar Godfred, and you patched up my hand… You looked so beautiful then. Your kindness made me feel so many different things, so many things that I haven’t felt in quite some time, if at all. And your words, oh your words!” You chuckled, both frustrated and amused at your current plight. “Every time you speak such beautiful words to me, it’s like reading poetry. But even ink on paper cannot compare to the things you speak of sometimes. And your smile is like starlight; it makes the sun hide away, knowing it cannot shine half as bright. You make me feel so many different things that I cannot begin to explain or understand, Kíli. And it hurts me to see you hurt because of my struggling mind. But I don’t know what to call these things I feel towards you, I really don’t.”

You had gone from smiling to now sad again, realizing that despite getting all of these feelings off of your chest, you still didn’t understand what they meant. Kíli opened his mouth to speak, his eyes glittering again as the stars above reflected in them, but you cut him off short. “But I can’t keep avoiding you anymore, not if it hurts you like this. But I also can’t bear to part from you. My heart, it aches for your smile, for your voice, it aches for you.” You were starting to realize just what your words and feelings met, but you couldn’t bring yourself to admit you might be in love with him until you heard him answer you.

“Oh, amrâlimê,” he smiled, tucking some wisps of your hair back behind your ear. His voice was so delicate as he spoke, and your eyes widened at the use of his native tongue. You had no idea what he had said, and wanted to ask, but knew it wasn’t the time. Not now, at least, when you awaited his answer. Your eyes searched his, anxious and confused at his smile as you awaited his answer. “Only you can be the one to say what this feeling is, but I can finally admit in confidence that I too feel the same.” He brought your hands to his lips, kissing them gently, despite them smelling of fish.

“You’ve set my heart on fire,” he said. “And no matter how you try to put it out, there will always still be at least one ember burning brightly, smoking only for you. My heart burns for you, amrâlimê. I burn for you.”

“You know your heart so well,” you smiled, feeling immensely happy at his words. “But how can you know for sure that it is I who it belongs to?”

He stepped forward, closing the gap between you two even moreso, his left hand coming to rest on your cheek, and you leaned into his touch as he wiped a runaway tear away. “You might not like this, but I’ve known it ever since I hid your clothes that day in the river.” You laughed, finding yourself amused by this.

“Really?” You chuckled, poking fun. “Making me miserable made you fall for me?”

He grinned, laughing. “I was never doing it to make fun. Well, maybe a little. But every comment, every joke, every prank, that was my way of telling you I liked you, though I’m a little embarrassed that they were interpreted so wrongly.”

“Every comment?” You mused. “Even the ones about wanting to see me-”

“Yes, but that’s not the point right now,” he cut you off, embarrassed. “Those words are for a different mood entirely, not right now. But yes… They were all true.” He muttered the last sentence, avoiding your eyes as you laughed. It was all falling into place in your mind. How could you have been so stupid, so blind by your determination towards the mission?

“Kíli…” you breathed, and his eyes met yours once more as you looked at him nervously. “Can I kiss you?”

He smiled, all too happy at the question. “Of course, amrâlimê. Always, now and forever.”

And slowly, as your eyes darted between his own and his lips, you leaned in, meeting his lips in a soft and light kiss. The act itself was quite foreign to you, but it felt right. Gingerly, your hand went up to his face, and his other hand moved up to gently place itself over your hair as your lips danced together in a beautiful song sung by the words you two had just exchanged. His lips were slightly worn and rough from the journey, but you didn’t care as you wrapped your injured hand around the back of his neck for support as you leaned in. It was such a lovely thing between you, a token of your mutual feelings for one another, that you thought you could kiss him like this forever. But all too soon, you pulled away at the sound of much heavier footsteps, your senses going on alert. Kíli did too, taking a step back to look behind him.

“What’s going on down there?” It was Dwalin, and he sounded quite annoyed. “You two have taken so long we thought you drowned.”

Kíli laughed and you breathed a sigh of relief that it hadn’t been some stranger. “I can assure you, we didn’t drown!” He called back, causing you to look away in embarrassment, eagerly grabbing the fish.

“Well if you don’t hurry back, then I’ll make sure it happens myself!” Dwalin warned, casting a disappointed glare before finally leaving the riverbank. You sighed again, this time out of anxiety. But the grin of a madman that lied on Kíli’s face was more than enough to raise your spirits again.

“Amrâlimê,” he said, walking up to you as he grabbed the remainder of the fish from your hunt. “I love you. And I understand if you need more time to think upon it, but I want you to know how I feel. I’ve never been more sure of anything. When we’re back home, I want to show you just what you mean to me, if that’s alright with you.”

You drew a breath, finding yourself speechless at his declaration of love. Thinking for a moment and silently thankful he would give you time to think, you nodded with an eager smile. “Then I’ll be waiting for that day, when it comes.”

Finally, after two months since capturing Aevar, your group had completed the long journey back to the mountain halls of Erebor. It all seemed so long ago from when you had all first set off on this trek, parts of it fading off into distant memory.

You all had been welcomed warmly by Balin and Thorin, and upon the sight both Kíli and Dwalin seemed overjoyed to be back home to their lives and their friends and their families. You and Sigfred were both glad that the journey was now over, but it seemed as though the both of you felt out of place within the stone caverns. After all, you had only come as aid; this wasn’t your home. Though home, for the both of you, seemed so far away. A selfish part of you would’ve preferred to stay here and not worry about the troubles of Gondor, but you could tell Sigfred was itching to return to his homelands in the Wilderland.

Hours later, you were all summoned to a meeting with Thorin, most likely to discuss your success, your rewards, and the new objectives surrounding Aevar Godfred. You weren’t too excited about having to travel back home with him; it was safe to say you had barely tolerated the journey thus far with the cowardly thief. But for tonight, you could relax. After all, there was to be a banquet held in your group’s honor, a celebration of the return of the royal jewels (with tighter security, of course).

Slowly, you came into a side room of one of Erebor’s many halls, finding yourself in a sort of gathering area, a war room of sorts. A strong stone table lined the middle of the room, and you could see Kíli already seated at the end of it. Everyone else had yet to arrive, and you found yourself growing nervous at being alone in the room with the prince. Butterflies tickled inside you as you made your way closer to him, and his eyes lit up upon seeing you. Gods, those deep brown eyes that had you hooked since you first saw them. Only now instead of rivalry and arrogance, love lay behind them.

“Amrâlimê, there you are.” He smiled, standing out of his seat to pull your own chair out for you. Taking your place next to him, you returned the smile as you sat down. “Will you be joining me at the banquet tonight?”

“The banquet?” You said. “I’d like to, yes. But I’m not sure I have anything to wear for such an occasion.”

“Nonsense, you’re perfect the way you are,” he smiled, taking your hand in his as he placed a gentle kiss on it. You couldn’t bite back the smile that crept onto your face again.

“Listen, I’ve been meaning to tell you that-” And just before you could tell the prince how you truly felt, in walked the rest of your party.

“My apologies for my lateness,” Thorin said, followed closely behind by Dwalin and Balin as he sat at the head of the table. Balin, carrying four large pouches, stood beside him. Dwalin sat down just as Sigfred entered, and soon the entire party was seated. “Now, onto business.”

The meeting droned on for about an hour or two, as it began with you all recounting your journey to the King Under the Mountain. You told him all about the journey of capturing Aevar, who you were told was locked away in the dungeons. The whole time, Thorin was silent, his stare unreadable. Finally, after finishing your recollection, he nodded to Balin, who gave each of you one of the heavy pouches. Peeking inside, your eyes widened at the glittering jewels which lay inside. Thorin was no cheat when it came to rewards; this was more than you had ever expected!

“And now to our next ordeal,” he said, and you returned your gaze to the king. “We sent word to Gondor shortly after you left, asking what we were to do with the prisoner. They still request he return with Y/N to Gondor, but not before they send a caravan to aid in the journey back. We expect them to arrive within the next few days.”

You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you were holding, both relieved and upset about the opportunity to return home. Though you missed the White City, you knew that it also meant parting from Kíli, something you weren’t ready to do just yet.

“Y/N, we’ve arranged a room for you to stay here for the time being until the caravan arrives.” Thorin said. You nodded in respect.

“Thank you,” you said. It was all you could let out.

“As for you, Sigfred,” the king turned to the tall man, who seemed much uncomfortable in the stone chair, though he tried his best not to show it. “It seems this is where your service ends. On behalf of Erebor, we thank you. You are welcome anytime within our gates.”

The two men shared a nod of respect, and soon the king stood tall. Or as tall as one could when he was 5’2”.

“I shan’t keep you all any longer. This group is now dismissed, but leave not before treating yourselves to tonight’s banquet, as a token of our thanks to you.” And with a strong nod, he dismissed himself, leaving the room with Balin trailing behind. Sigfred was the next to leave, followed by Dwalin shortly after. You rose from your seat, about to leave when a hand took yours.

It was Kíli. “Y/N, you had something to say earlier, before everyone came in?” He stepped closer towards you, and you had to push away the sad thoughts as best as you could. You didn’t want to risk crying in front of him again.

“Ah, right,” you said, chewing your cheek to keep your voice from breaking. “I’ll be leaving soon, it seems.”

He nodded, sensing your sadness. He shared it. “Yes, it seems so.”

“But I…” you swallowed. “I don’t think I’m ready to go, Kíli.”

He stepped forward again, his hand cupping your cheek. “What is it, my love? What troubles you?” His voice was so soft, and you couldn’t help the tears that slipped past your eye.

“I love you, Kíli,” you breathed. “And I feel so selfish because it’s taken me so long to figure it out and yet I still have to leave.” Tears fell from your eyes as you looked down at the man who had stolen your heart. But he only smiled at you. A small smile, one that hid sadness with hope.

“Amrâlimê,” he spoke. “There is no one else who could occupy my heart the way that you have, and even distance couldn’t change that.” Both of his hands now clasped themselves around yours as he brought them to his heart. “I am yours, Y/N.”

Desperately, you leaned in with the need to feel his lips on yours, and he was much obliged to provide such a thing for you. “Can we just…” you breathed. “For tonight, can we pretend that I’ll stay? Please? Just for tonight.”

He gently placed a kiss on your lips, a smile gracing his features. “As you wish. Tonight, I won’t leave your side. I am yours for as long as you want me.”

The banquet raged on all throughout the night as the flames of the torches and lanterns burned brightly within Erebor. The kingdom was joyous and generous in their celebrations, it seemed, as you witnessed several arrays of meats, meads, and cheeses served on long tables full of drunken dwarves. You relished each bite that came your way, knowing you hadn’t been treated to a feast like this for a while since your journey. Cheers and laughter rang loudly in tandem with the music, of which Kíli was helping to supply. For as long as you had gotten to know him, you found yourself still surprised by him as he wielded a fiddle before you, his smile so wide his eyes squinted tightly when he did. Even the ever-grumpy Dwalin found himself strumming the viol in the throng of musicians that bordered the ballroom!

Which of course, leads us to discuss the ballroom. A huge space in the middle of the banquet’s hall, dwarves and dwarrowdams alike danced like fire lay at their feet, their movements and jumps in accordance with the strong beat of the music that echoed off of the bedrock walls of Erebor. Even Sigfred, who hadn’t shown any hint of a smile on your journey, was cheering wildly as he dragged you onto the dancefloor with him, his tall stature helping to make space for the two of you to dance in the crowd. It was a wonderful night, and you had quite forgotten your troubles of hours earlier.

Soon, you felt arms wrap around your waist, and you turned just in time for Kíli to give you a cheeky wink and whisk you off away from Sigfred in a dance of your own, your bodies syncing up with the rhythm as laughter kept your bodies moving to the beat. Your hands never left his as he jumped about, his hair creating a mess all over his face as his smile grew a slight sheen of sweat from his abundance of movements. Though you were one to talk, as you were sure you were quite sweaty yourself from all the movements you had been putting your body through on the dance floor.

Soon, the previous song ended, and you dragged Kíli off of the floor and back towards the end of the hall where the food and drink lay, your body desperately needing water. Quickly, you found a pitcher, bringing it to your lips.

“My, you’re so quick on your feet! I didn’t take you for a dancer, my love,” he grinned, taking the pitcher from you as he stole a gulp for himself. Gods, you still found yourself getting giddy every time he called you his love.

“And I didn’t take you for a musician,” you said. “You surprised me!”

He smirked, winking at you. “Well, I can guarantee there’s plenty more where that came from.”

You took back the pitcher, raising a brow in curiosity. “Oh? Like what?”

He offered his hand, leaning in closer, a newfound mischievous glint in his eye. “I can show you, but first, why don’t we find somewhere a little more private?” Your heart skipped a beat at his words, knowing their hidden meaning as you set the pitcher down and took his hand, eager to follow with a grin.

He led you through the twists and turns of the stone-carved halls until he eventually brought you through a pair of deep oaken doors to what looked like a beautifully carved bedroom. The stone bed that lay in the center of the room was wide and exquisite, draped with fabric that formed a canopy above the soft mattress below. Shields decorated the walls, along with Kíli’s sword and bow hung on a wall to the left. A fire lay glowing in the fireplace to the right, which glittered with gems that were embedded in the mantelpiece. Another door lay to the right, one that you figured led to the bathroom. This must have been his own bedroom.

He guided you with him as he sat at the foot of the bed, with you taking your seat next to him. “I tried to make it more comfortable, wondering if you’d ever join me here.” He said, and you smiled, still tipsy from the ale as you kissed his cheek.

“It’s gorgeous in here, Kíli. They tell no lies about dwarven hospitality.” You sighed, letting your back hit the mattress until you sat up quickly. Kíli raised a brow.

“What’s wrong?” He said.

“It seems I’m quite winded from dancing,” you said, feeling the back of your shirt. “I’m in need of a proper wash.” You sighed to yourself, amused by how hard you had been going during the party. Kíli took this as an opportunity to feel his own tunic, laughing at his own sweat.

“You’re not the only one, then.” He said. “If you’d like, I can draw you a bath.”

You raised a brow. “You won’t wash up?”

“After you, amrâlimê,” he smiled, planting a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll let you have the hot water first.” You leaned into his touch, smiling. Ever the gentleman, he was, as he got up from where he was seated to go run the bath. But with some new courage, you stood up to follow him, gently taking his arm.

“Or,” you said slowly, stepping closer over the shorter man.

“Or?” He questioned, stepping closer and closing the gap between you two as a mischievous glint sparked in his eyes. “Or what?”

“Or maybe,” you continued. “We could share the hot water? Together?”

“Together?” He said a bit too eagerly, a cough escaping him as he tried to hide his reaction. You smiled at this. “Together, together! Amrâlimê, I’d love to.” He couldn’t hide his grin, too excited about the idea.

“Good,” you said. “So why don’t you draw the bath and I’ll join you in a few minutes?” He shook his head all too eagerly, like a puppy dog when you mention the words “treats”. Quickly, he left you to prepare the bath, and soon you realized just how fast your heart was beating. Where had this sudden boldness come from? You chalked it up to the energy of the party mixing with this ale in your system; yes, that had to be it.

Soon, after ridding yourself of your party clothes (a.k.a. the clothes you had been traveling in for the past few months) and finding a towel to cover up with, you gently knocked on the door to the washroom, your heart hammering in your chest. You heard a distant hum from Kíli on the other side, and took it as your sign to enter.

Opening the door to the dimly lit room, you smiled at the sight of so many candles lit, their flames casting dancing shadows on the walls. A waft of warm, steamy air hit your face as you entered, a relaxing sigh drawing from your lungs at the scent of the woodsy oils he must have used for the water. It was at the end of the room where Kíli sat in the tub, suds covering him as the ends of his hair were damp, a soft smile on his face as his eyes welcomed you in. You felt all warm inside, he made you feel so safe.

Which was good for your nerves, as was the dim lighting, as you crept closer to the tub until you were now standing in front of him. He looked at you with admiration in his eyes as he offered his hands to ease you into the tub. Gently, you took them, letting the towel fall to the floor and trying so hard to meet his gaze as you heard a small gasp leave his lips. Slowly, you crept into the tub, and he guided you to sit in front of him, leaning your back against his chest as he peppered your shoulder with kisses and soothing rubs.

“Amrâlimê,” he whispered in between kisses. “You’re beautiful…”

“Really?” You asked, a part of yourself feeling unsure as to believe him.

“Even the greatest masters of stone in Erebor could not carve a figure as divine as yours,” he said, and you felt your face heat up. You couldn’t help the smile that slipped into your face. “Mahal took great care when he thought of you, my darling.”

“Let me see you,” you said, now eagerly wanting to gaze upon your newfound love. You turned your head to look at him, to which he chuckled as he sat up straighter in the warm waters of the tub. You twisted yourself now to face him, your eyes transfixed on his own figure, which was worn and weathered with hair and scars of years past. His body was history itself, like a book you so desperately wanted to read. Carefully, you hovered your hand over his chest before letting it land right over his heart. His heartbeat was steady; so calm, so soothing. You could fall asleep listening to it.

“It beats for you, amrâlimê,” he said, bringing your gaze back up to his face. “Only you.”

You leaned closer, dangerously closer, as your other hand went up to cup his cheek. Your noses touched from how close you two had gotten, and you thought that you wouldn’t be able to breathe unless he exhaled. Your eyes flitted to his lips for a split second, but the young prince keenly caught it. “Show me,” you said, and with those words you began a wild night for yourself.

Kíli closed the gap between you two, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss that was slow and full of young love. His hands roamed from your face to your shoulders until they found their places in the curve of your hips, holding you closer to him. In an effort to be more comfortable, you sat between his outstretched legs, sitting back on your knees in the sudsy water. He smiled into the kiss, a culmination of all his feelings for you taking over as your hands reached his hair, tugging lightly. That was all the encouragement he needed.

Pulling you closer, the kiss slowly became more intense, filled with more passion and even more pent up urges. His thumbs carved their prints in your hips, and you let out a small whine from the feeling. Quickly, he pulled back, chest heaving from lack of breath as concern laced his brow. “Is everything alright? Did I hurt you?” His eyes darted across your features as you flushed in the dim room.

“Quite the opposite, I promise.” You said. “Do it again.” And with a crazed smile, he dove back into your lips.

Soon his tongue made a quick swipe between your lips, and you let him in with open arms and a drawn out whine as he deepened the kiss between you, your tongues dancing with each other as you found yourself hooked on his taste. You wanted more of it, and desperately.

Wanting to change it up, you moved your kisses to his jaw, trailing down lower and lower until you found your perfect battlefield: the little dip between his neck and his shoulder. With eager intensity, you bit down softly, tracing little kisses and bites wherever you could, resulting in a breathy groan leaving his lips. “Y/N…” his voice whined, needy and full of want, and you couldn’t help but smirk as you came back up.

“Yes?” You feigned innocence, wrapping your arms around his neck as you looked down at your love, and he sat up, his grip on your hips tightening a little as he found his opportunity to attack your own neck.

You gasped as the touch, a small sigh leaving your lips as he placed love bite after love bite until he found the one spot that left you weak. “Fuck,” you breathed out a moan and you felt him smile against your skin. “I need you, Kíli. Please.”

“Begging already?” He smiled. “Amrâlimê, we only just started. Now relax, my love. I’ve barely begun.”

A small huff left your lips as his own returned to your neck, peppering in a few more bites that would later develop into beautiful bruises before trailing down to your breasts. His touch as delicate as his tongue darted out to lick a stripe over your nipple before taking it into his mouth, rolling his tongue around the swell of it as his eyes never left yours. Your breath hitched, and you felt yourself growing more and more needy, rubbing your legs together for some sort of friction as the warm water was beginning to feel much, much hotter. Your hands dug into his hair, tugging and twirling as his tongue danced shapes over the swell of your breast, biting softly. A moan escaped your lips in surprise.

His hands now moved from your hips to your inner thighs, gently pushing them apart as you helped him spread your legs. His calloused fingers, which were softened by the water, traced circles on the inner part of your thighs, slowly inching their way closer and closer to your heated core. “Come now, Y/N,” he purred, pressing a kiss to your breast before shifting to give the other one some attention. “You can get louder, can’t you?”

With a shaky breath, you nodded, and he smiled in return, his fingers ghosting along your slit until he gently pressed one further, allowing it to slide into you with ease. You couldn’t help the delicious groan that left your lips as you finally began to feel some sort of stimulation down there that you desperately needed, your hips rocking to swallow his finger up to the very knuckle. You wanted more, and he was more than happy to oblige, dipping a second finger into you as his thumb found your clit, delicately tracing shapes onto it. You clenched around his fingers as they slid in and out of you with curved expertise.

“That feels so good,” you mewled, your voice carrying out as a whine, and you were rewarded with a kiss as Kíli brought his lips to yours. His fingers slowly began to quicken their pace, his thumb never leaving your most sensitive bundle of nerves as his lips enveloped yours in a sloppy kiss. You broke away, needing to breathe as soft moans and pants left your lips. “Faster, please Kíli.”

“As you wish, my love,” he smiled, placing a kiss on your jawline as his fingers now curled inside your tight walls, the water beneath you sloshing with his rapid movements as his thumb continued its unrelenting attack on your clit. “I only exist to please you. That’s all I want to do right now.” You could feel yourself building up inside, the tension pulling at every nerve in your body as you could sense you were almost ready to snap. You looked down at him with hungry eyes, now seeing that he too was quite aroused, his erection poking out of the waters as he worked his magic on you. But just as you were about to bring it up, you felt yourself snap, a string of broken moans and whines leaving your lips as your vision blurred for a split second and you felt yourself come completely undone. But Kíli didn’t stop there, no. He continued his torture, keeping up his pace to allow you to ride out your high until he slowly came to a stop, pulling his fingers out of you.

You fell forward onto him and his strong arms caught you, tucking away some of the hair that had fallen in your face. He looked at you again with awe, drawing you in for a chaste kiss. “You look so beautiful when you’re wrapped around my fingers,” he said, a smile on his lips. But you weren’t done, no. You brought him in for a kiss of your own, a needy groan resounding in his throat as your fingers delicately went down to wrap themselves around his length. He shuddered at the touch, and that one act of his was more than enough to make you ready for another round of fun.

Gently, you ran your hand up and down the length of his shaft, bringing your thumb up to rub small circles over his slit, which was eagerly leaking pre-cum in your hand. “Please, amrâlimê, I can’t handle your teasing,” he whined.

“Begging already, are we?” You whispered in a mocking tone, mimicking his words from earlier as you lowered your face to his solid member, placing a kiss on his swollen tip. His breathing hitched, his eyes clouded with want. “But I thought we were only getting started?” His hips raised out of the water to give you better access as you placed teasing kisses along the length of him, your tongue licking a stripe that led you back to his tip until you took him into your mouth. He moaned loudly at the touch, his hips bucking ever-so-noticeably, and you felt so powerful in this moment. Slowly, you lowered your head along his length, wanting to see just how much of him you could take into him before you swallowed around him, causing him to curse.

“A-amrâlimê,” he stuttered. “Please.” His voice was so breathy, so whiny. You loved it.

Slowly, you began bobbing your head along his shaft, your hands busy with keeping your body from falling over him as your hair fell in your face. Ever the gentleman he was, he was quick to tuck your hair back and grasp it in his fist, careful not to force your head despite how much he wanted to feel you gag on him. His hips bucked again as you kept getting faster and faster, wanting to bring him to completion before he quickly grabbed your throat, forcing you to meet his face as he brought you in a forced kiss.

You pulled away to look at him as his chest rose and fell dramatically, breath leaving his body in his aroused state. “Did you not want me to-” You spoke in a confused lilt, but he cut you off.

“No, not before I feel you again,” he breathed. “I’m already jealous that I didn’t get to taste you first, my love.” You smiled, chuckling as you brought his hands to your hips again, letting him guide you over his length. There you hovered, bringing him in for a kiss in the hopes it would distract you from any pain that was soon to come.

“Kíli, I love you,” you breathed in between kisses. “I’ve never wanted anyone to touch me as badly as I do now with you.” His tip rubbed against your core, and you let out a small whine. “Please, I need to feel you inside me already.”

“Oh Mahal…” That was all the motivation he needed, it seemed, for soon he sunk you quickly onto his length, splashing some water around you as you cried out at the delicious feeling of him stretching you out, his length already reaching places you had yet to even discover about yourself. You let out a string of curses, all moans, as you clenched around him in delicious pleasure. Gods, he felt amazing. You rolled your hips over him, craving some more of that delicious friction you had felt earlier, and you felt him shudder again. Gods, it turned you on to see his eyes glazed over like that, looking at you with such want and love that you wanted to consume him.

“Amrâlimê, let me show you just how much I feel for you,” he said. “Let me take care of you.” Slowly, he rolled his hips in tandem with your own, slipping in and out of you with ease as his thumb quickly found purchase over your clit again, rubbing slowly in tandem with his thrusts. The water around you sloshed and splashed with your movements, but that was the least of your cares as pleasure rocked through you, tearing you piece by piece until you were nothing but putty to be kneaded by the man you loved, who thrusted into you with increased pace with each movement. He was hitting every spot inside you, filling you so deliciously until he eventually found your sweet spot inside, causing a moan to rip from your lungs.

“Fuck, Kïli,” you said, your mind melting and only thinking of the pleasure he was bringing you as his own moans rang in your ears. “Right there, please. Don’t stop!” You felt that same pressure building up in you, the tension pushing and pulling as you looked at Kíli with lust-filled eyes. His own eyes met your gaze as he planted more kisses on and between your breasts, biting and pinching at the skin as he maintained his pace, but he too was beginning to feel the tension you had so intensely started earlier.

With shared moans that echoed and bounced off of the stone walls, you found yourself coming undone around Kíli, pleasure taking over as he helped you once again ride out your second orgasm. Your skin felt like it was going numb while being on fire all at once, and you relished every moment of it with ragged breathing. With a few more thrusts, Kíli too came, pulling out of you just in time to avoid any unprecedented consequences as his back hit the walls of the tub, his breathing uneven as he gently pulled you into him, kissing all over your face which held a small sheen of sweat from both the party and your latest festivities.

“I’ve wanted this for a while now,” he said, his voice soft as he kissed your forehead. “It seems as though all my thoughts of you are improper as of late.” You chuckled, leaning into his touch.

“Well then we’ll have to spend more time exploring those thoughts, now won’t we?” You teased, and a fired up groan sprang from Kíli’s lips as he brought you into another kiss.

“I’d love nothing more, amrâlimê.”

And for a while, you two stayed like this, with not a care in the world of whatever was going on in it. For now, you could focus on nothing other than the intermingling of your two heartbeats. Time seemed to slow down for you two as the candlelight danced on the walls, and you were content. Because in this moment, nothing else mattered except for you and your son of Durin. Not the fact that soon you would have to leave Erebor entirely, nor the fact that there were probably some people searching for you two at the banquet. All that mattered right here, right now, was how much you were in love with this man and wanted to be with him. Nothing else.

“Come on,” your love said. “Now we really need to wash up.”

[myenemytolover]

i love you (but I cannot survive you) — a thiam playlist

i. All I Want | Kodaline

'Cause you brought out the best of me, a part of me I'd never seen. You took my soul and wiped it clean; our love was made for movie screens.

ii. The Killer Was a Coward | Dermot Kennedy

And when I think of you, I think of spirit defined, and I think of all the love that we shared in a very dark time.

iii. Demons | Imagine Dragons

Don't wanna let you down, but I am hell-bound. Though this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth.

iv. Take on the World | You Me At Six

And nobody knows you the way that I know you; we'll fight, we'll crawl into the night. I won't let go; with you by my side, the calm, the storm, we'll face it all.

v. Eyes on Fire | Blue Foundation

And just in time, in the right place, steadily emerging with grace.

vi. I Found | Amber Run

And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me.

vii. Litost | X Ambassadors

And how long must I stay? Will I lay by your side just to say that I'm yours and you'll never be mine?

viii. Another Love | Tom Odell

And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight, but my hands been broken, one too many times, so I'll use my voice, I'll be so fucking rude.

ix. Fortnight | Taylor Swift; Post Malone

And I love you; it's ruining my life.

x. The Show | Niall Horan

Life is like a board game some of the time; mistakes and heartbreaks are no crime, but there's a lot creeping through under broken skies.

xi. Guilty as Sin | Taylor Swift

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me, they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly.

xii. Us | James Bay

I still hear the howling, I still feel the rush; over the riots, above all the noise, and through all the worry, I still hear your voice.

xiii. Fade | Lewis Capaldi

That I'd end up so caught up in need of your demons that I'd be lost without you leading me astray. Guess I'm such a fucking fool for the way that you caught me.

xiv. Saturdays | Louis Tomlinson

My heart might be broken, but I won't be broken down.

xv. Fine Line | Harry Styles

You've got my devotion, but man, I can hate you sometimes.

xvi. The Great War | Taylor Swift

It turned into something bigger. Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed.

xvii. Holding On To Heartache | Louis Tomlinson

I called you twice, but then regretted it and changed my number.

xviii. Hoax | Taylor Swift

My only one, my kingdom come undone, my broken drum; you have beaten my heart. Don't want no other shade of blue but you; no other sadness in the world would do.

xix. I miss you, I'm sorry | Gracie Abrams

Nothing happened in the way I wanted; every corner of this house is haunted.

xx. my tears ricochet | Taylor Swift

And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home. And you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones.

xxi. favorite crime | Olivia Rodrigo

I defended you to all my friends, and now, every time a siren sounds, I wonder if you're around 'cause you know that I'd do it all again.

xxii. Somebody to Die For | Hurts

And there's no hell that he can show me that's deeper than my pride 'cause I will never be forgotten. Forever, I'll fight.

xxiii. So High School | Taylor Swift

No one's ever had me, not like you...Truth, dare, spin bottles, you know how to ball; I know Aristotle.

xxiv. Complex | Katie Gregson-MacLeod

I need him like water; he thinks that I'm alright. I'm not feeling human; I think he's a good guy, but it's complex. It's a complex.

xxv. Ghost Of You | 5 Seconds of Summer

So I drown it out like I always do. Dancing through our house with the ghost of you, and I chase it down, with a shot of truth, that my feet don't dance like they did with you.

xxvi. Give Me Love | Ed Sheeran

Give me love like never before 'cause lately I've been craving more and it's been a while, but I still feel the same.

xxvii. illicit affairs | Taylor Swift

And you know damn well, for you, I would ruin myself a million little times.

xxviii. Holding On And Letting Go | Ross Copperman

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't.

xxix. Atlantis | Seafret

Now all the birds have fled, the hurt just leaves me scared.

xxx. Hurricane | Fleurie

Though I am breaking down again, I am aching now to let you in.

xxxi. You and I | PVRIS

We can meet in the middle, bodies and souls collide. Dance in the moonlight when all the stars align.

xxxii. Crazy in Love - Remix | Beyonce

I'm not myself. Lately, I'm foolish; I don't do this. I've been playing myself, baby I don't care.

xxxiii. this is me trying | Taylor Swift

And maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway.

xxxiv. Can't Catch Me Now | Olivia Rodrigo

You can't catch me now, I'm coming like a storm into your town.

xxxv. Perfect | Hedley

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying 'cause that's what I said I would do from the start.

xxxvi. Til My Heart Stops | Too Far Moon

I almost died the day I lost you; I'll keep breathing til my heart stops.

xxxvii. The Alchemy | Taylor Swift

There was no chance, trying to be the greatest in the league. Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me.

xxxviii. The Exit | Conan Gray

Feels like we had matching wounds, but mine's still black and bruised, and yours is perfectly fine now. Feels like we buried alive something that never died.

xxxix. Don't Forget About Me | CLOVES

Lost through time, and that's all I need: so much love, then one day buried. Hope you're safe, 'cause I Iay you leaves; is there more than we can see?

xl. Hurts Like Hell | Fleurie

I don't want them to know the way I loved you; I don't think they'd understand it, no. I don't think they would accept me, no. I loved, and I loved, and I lost you.

xli. Is There Somewhere | Halsey

'Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railings, and you clutched my brain and eased my ailing.

xlii. Burn with You | Lea Michele

We're not healthy, barely breathing, but this pain keeps my heart beating.

xliii. Cringe | Matt Maeson

Lover, come hold me; could you forget? That I got a secret, digging a ditch.

xliv. Him & I | G-Eazy; Halsey

We got that love, the crazy kind. I am his, and he is mine, in the end, it's him and I.

xlv. An Evening I Will Not Forget / Furthest Thing | Dermot Kennedy

Days with nothing but laughing loud underneath my coat, when you tap my shoulder, hold my hand; nights with nothing but dark in there, you could be my armor then.

xlvi. Call It What You Want | Taylor Swift

You don't need to save me, but would you run away with me?

xlvii. I'll Never Love Again | Lady Gaga

And I want to pretend that it's not true, oh baby, that you're gone 'cause my world keeps turning, and turning, and turning, and I'm not moving on.

xlviii. This Town | Niall Horan

And I know that it's wrong that I can't move on, but there's something about you. If the whole world was watching, I'd still dance with you.

xlix. Without Fear | Dermot Kennedy

And now I really think you're heaven-sent 'cause you've been forcin' all these hollow hearts to feel again. And now I really think you're heaven-sent, but there's a beauty in being broken; I've been seein' it.

l. Waiting Room | Phoebe Bridgers

Know it's for the better.

li. Only Love Can Hurt Like This | Paloma Faith

Burning hot through my veins, love is torture; makes me more sure only love can hurt like this.

lii. Still Falling For You | Ellie Goulding

And just like that, all I breathe, all I feel, you are all for me, I'm in.

liii. Daylight | Taylor Swift

I once believed love would be burning red, but it's golden.

liv. Margaret | Lana Del Rey; Bleachers

'Cause when you know, you know.

lv. Lost Without You | Freya Ridings

You were the only safe haven that I've known; hits me at full speed, feel like I can't breathe and nobody knows this pain inside me.

lvi. I Fell In Love With The Devil | Avril Lavigne

Got me playin' with fire, baby, hand me the lighter. Tastes just like danger, chaotic anger.

lvii. Million Reasons | Lady Gaga

I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away, but baby, I just need one good one to stay.

lviii. But Daddy I Love Him | Taylor Swift

No, I'm not coming to my senses; I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want.

lix. Ultraviolet | Freya Ridings

No, I can't hide it, and you're reading all of me.

lx. Sunday | Dermot Kennedy

You're one of few, boy, who can safely say they had somebody truly love them back.

lxi. golden hour | JVKE; Ruel

You know nothing compares to the shattering feeling I get, oh, when you're not right there.

lxii. Daylight | David Kushner

You and I drink the poison from the same vine. Oh, I love it, and I hate it at the same time.

lxiii. Half Hearted | We Three

The fighting is done, and nobody's won, so now I'm just laying here in pieces on the floor.

lxiv. Always Remember Us This Way | Lady Gaga

So when I'm all choked up, but I can't find the words every time we say goodbye, baby, it hurts.

lxv. Latch | Sam Smith

Now I've got you in my space; I won't let go of you. Got you shackled in my embrace, I'm latching on to you.

lxvi. Say Don't Go | Taylor Swift

'Cause you kiss me, and it stops time, and I'm yours, but you're not mine.

lxvii. Put A Little Love On Me | Niall Horan

When the lights come up and there's no shadows dancing, I look around as my heart is collapsing 'cause you're the only one I need.

lxviii. Ho Hey | The Lumineers

I belong with you; you belong with me; you're my sweetheart.

lxix. XO | John Mayer

Your heart is glowing, and I'm crashing into you.

lxx. Strange Love | Halsey

Everybody wants to know about how it felt to hear you scream; they know you walk like you're a God, they can't believe I made you weak.

lxxi. You Mean The World To Me | Freya Ridings

And it kills me that you might not know after all, 'cause I know I don't let you see, but you mean the world to me, and I know that I can be pretty mean, but you mean the world to me.

lxxii. Dark Paradise | Lana Del Rey

Love you forever can't be wrong; even though you're not here, you won't move on. That's how we played it.

lxxiii. Oceans | Seafret

I want you, and nothing comes close to the way I need you. I wish I could feel your skin and I want you from somewhere within.

lxxiv. The Archer | Taylor Swift

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put me together again 'cause all of my enemies started out friends; help me hold onto you. I've been the archer; I've been the prey. Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

lxxv. MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT | Loveless

In the middle of the night, just call my name; I'm yours to tame.

lxxvi. Train Wreck | James Arthur

You can say what you like 'cause see, I would die for you. I'm down on my knees, and I need you to be my God, be my help, be a savior who can unbreak the broken.

lxxvii. Walls | Louis Tomlinson

For every question, why, you were my because.

lxxviii. Infinity | Jaymes Young

'Cause you're the reason I believe in fate, you're my paradise, and I'll do anything to be your love or be your sacrifice.

lxxix. Salvation | Gabrielle Aplin

Just a trick of light to bring me back again, those wild eyes, a psychedelic silhouette. I never meant to fall for you, but I was buried underneath, and all that I could see was white.

lxxx. Sleep On The Floor | The Lumineers

Take all your savings out 'cause if we don't leave this town, we might never make it out. I was not born to drown, baby; come on.

lxxxi. Castle on the Hill | Ed Sheeran

I still remember these old country lanes when we did not know the answers.

lxxxii. The Other Side | Ruelle

I don't want to know what it's like to live without you; don't want to know the other side of a world without you.

lxxxiii. Angel With A Shotgun | The Cab

They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for. Well, baby, you are all that I adore; if love is what you need, a solider, I will be.

lxxxiv. Black Friday | Tom Odell

You look so pretty, pretty like the wind. Every time you touch me, I feel adrenaline.

lxxxv. Die With A Smile | Lady Gage, Bruno Mars

So I'ma love you every night, like it's the last night, like it's the last night. If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you.

lxxxvi. Northern Attitude | Noah Kahan

If I get too close and I'm not how you hoped, forgive my northern attitude. Oh, I was raised out in the cold. If the son doesn't rise until summertime, forgive my northern attitude. Oh, I was raised on little light.

lxxxvii. "Slut!" | Taylor Swift

Half awake, takin' your chance. It's a big mistake; I said, "It might blow up in your pretty face." I'm not saying, "Do it anyway," but you're going to.

lxxxviii. Backroads | Lonely The Brave

So the sinners stopped, and the villains turned, and I'll be the sky, and you be the bird.

lxxxix. Angel By The Wings | Sia

Oh, so, your wounds, they show. I know you have never felt so alone. But hold on, head up, be strong.

lxxxx. Too Deep | Ritual, Delilah

You said my signs were vital, that every touch was tidal. You held me, you held me so right, you held me so tight.

[lusc1nia]

gift for @dustofthedailylife, event hosted by @2022gisecretsanta

okay so like have you ever felt so angry because i lost like ~10k worth of words because MY GOOGLE DOCUMENT GOT CORRUPTED? I HAD EVERYONE IN THEIR LIST WRITTEN ANd I AM SO ANGRY BECAUSE NOW ITS ONLY 1 CHARACTER *AND* LACKLUSTER and then you keep rewriting aND REWRITING BECAUSE YOU AREN't SATISFieD AND YOU're STILL NOT SATISFIED BUT IT's THE 29TH AND YOU FEEL BAD BECAUSE THE PERSON RECIEBVING THIS IS WoNDERING WHERE THEIR PRESENT IS AND AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHJHHH

if the person whose receiving the gift wants me to i'll rewrite ayato's and zhongli's parts in separate posts later on because boy they weren't as angsty as al-haitham's and i was trying to do a mix of fluff, angst w/ comfort, and angst no comfort

sorry if i'm rambling too much i'm just genuinely so mad at my pc and google docs

────────────

wc: ~1.1k

Al-Haitham x Reader: Coward

only in Al-Haitham's perspective, reader makes a short appearance and is implied to be missing in action

────────────

Al-Haitham is a coward.

The Scribe of the Akademiya is a coward.

The savior of Sumeru’s deity is a coward.

No matter where Al-Haitham is, or what he thinks, he’s a coward true and through. And as he stands in the Grand Bazaar’s stage, with his newfound ‘friends’ celebrating the reinstatement and the saving of Lesser Lord Kusanali as the archon of Sumeru, Haitham could only remember the expression on your face when you last saw him.

The traveler smiles, speaking in a feminine, child-like voice.

“Everyone, it’s me.”

A soft, adoring smile adorned the traveler’s facial features as she placed her hand over her heart.

Paimon shrieks, and immediately the Scribe begins to tune out the conversation.

“My, I didn’t expect to be having a conversation with the consciousness of Lesser Lord Kusnali in the Grand Bazaar,” He glances at Nilou expectantly, “How interesting. Was this also planned for the feast?”

Nilou shakes her hands in front of her face, replying to Al-Haitham, (who bitterly shakes his head) “No, no.. of course not!” She turns towards the traveler with hesitancy, “are you.. are you Lesser Lord Kusanali, then?”

Lumineー or Nahida, who's occupying the traveler’s body, giggles, “Hello, Nilou,” Nahida gives a short wave.

Taking a step back, Nilou gasps, “You.. you know me?!”

Al-Haitham turns away, tuning out the conversation slowly, but Cyno nudges his shoulder, “The least you could do is pay attention. It’s our archon for Celestia’s sake, show her some respect, Al-Haitham.”

Opting to not respond, Al-Haitham silently glances at Cyno, and Cyno returns the glare.

Dehya stares at them with a pensive look on her face, mouthing, “Not the time for this.”

Cyno relents, breaking the eye-contact between them, “No need to be so ceremonious, Lesser Lord Kusanali, it has always been my duty to protect you.”

Al-Haitham scoffs, “That’s how the relationship between the Akademiya and our Dendro Archon should be like,” Remaining with a cold poker face, Haitham takes a jab at Cyno, “but we just did what was necessary to set things up on the right path.”

Dehya ignores Al-Haitham’s jab at Cyno, and adds on to Cyno’s sentence, “You’re an Archon, but you act so humble. You really don’t need to be..”

Dehya’s words mash together in a distorted way as Al-Haitham drives his focus away from the conversation at hand. Even when faced by a deity, he's still focused on you, and you alone.

No matter what he’s done or what he’ll do, he won’t ever escape your grasp, the hand that’s holding him by the neck and cornering him into a loss. Something the Scribe doesn’t experience daily.

He remembers a time late after everyone had finished with the graduation ceremonies, where everyone went home, rushing to find a position in the Akademiya, or maybe still studying late at night in the archives of the House of Daena.

Al-Haitham remembers finding you sleeping with obvious eyebags under your eyes, and he felt sympathy for you.

How many nights have you spent like this? He wondered. How many times have you fallen asleep, your brain calling to the comforts of sleep? The freshly graduated Al-Haitham looks down at you with (once again) sympathy.

Sure, he was your past so-called academic rival, just in different fields, but he realised at that moment when you both argued about the morals of the Akademiya, that you both were kindred spirits.

You both took different paths, but arrived at the same solutions. While he believes that humans are naturally bad, and choose to do good things to better mankind, you believe that all humans were born kind, but choose to do the wrong things.

“Scribe, and what makes you say that? Why are you commenting on moral philosophy when you’re a Haravatat graduate?”

Al-Haitham rubs his temples furiously, “Suddenly, I’m not allowed to have opinions anymore, as dictated by you, my supposed ‘equal’.”

You shook your head in discontentment, “Maybe, just maybe, Scribe, you should try to stay in your own lane, and not question the ethics and morals of the Akademiya,” you say, tucking your hair into your ear, “I represent the Akademiya, I reinforce the ethics and morals of the Akademiya. You just have to sit pretty and write down the important things for archon’s sake, I swear, you truly are impossible..”

Al-Haitham shakes his head, mocking you in that subtle way that he always did, “You expect me to back down, and bend over for the Akademiya,” His lips previously in a thin line were now turned downwards. Al-Haitham stares at you with amusement pooling in his eyes, and he folds his arms in that weird way he had always done.

“You’re.. you're kidding me. Right?” You stare at him, a bewildered look in your eyes, “you certainly can’t be serious.. A high ranking position at the Akademiya, who doesn’t share the same morals as the Akademiya for Greater Lord ... sake! Next thing you’re going to tell me is that you have the utmost respect for Lesser Lord Kusanali!”

Closing his eyes, Al-Haitham curtly replies, “You’re not wrong.”

At this point, Al-Haitham can imagine that you were pulling your hair out with a furious look in your eyes. That’s how it’s always been, hasn’t it?

But he opens his eyes, just to see you staring blankly, without reason and without a shine in your eyes.

His eyes narrow in on yours, and you simply shake your head, “I should’ve expected someone like you to defy the Akademiya,” you said, a deflated tone in your voice, “maybe you are just better off as a scribe, huh..”

Al-Haitham watches you walk away, he was ultimately the victor of this, ‘pleasant’, conversation, but he certainly didn’t feel like one.

Intrusive thoughts echoed throughout his head as he walks away from the House of Daena:

Coward. Why was it that you always needed to fight [Name]? They were like you, stubborn, but more emotional. You should have just backed down for once. You’re such a cowardー remember those roommate posters you put up after graduation? It had to have been for [Name], but you got cold feet, didn’t you. You had to have picked Kaveh, just because you didn’t want to see [Name] walking around your house, you would’ve caught feelings, huh? You already caught them. So what was the point, Scribe?

Al-Haitham is snapped out of his thoughts of you when the traveler approaches him after the feast.

“Oh? What do you need me for, Traveler?”

But in the end, Al-Haitham is still a coward. He is many things, but he is a coward, true and through.

[callowaysinks]

for sale: twink that writes you things

I love meeting new people and writing their commissions. I hate landlords. I will provide two simple reasons why when I write you something, it's both safer, more compassionate, and imminently less intimidating than tier-based commissions for a first-timer in TWO bullets (the same number of bullets that were fired into the trunk of my 2003 toyota prius last Wednesday).

You can pay me, a friendly twink, roughly $30 USD to write you a story that you really want written. Word counts may vary, but they won't be less than 7,500, and imporantly, they will be complete! I will put time and energy into telling a good story.

It fights landlords (mine) and their dark sorcery (the rent)

Maybe you're going, oh god, that's so embarrasing. I can't imagine paying a stranger to write something in my head. I've never done that! But here! Bang! Just like last Wednesday, one more bullet!

I am a twink from south florida. nothing you can say or do will approach, even fractionally, the fear I metabolize every time I open grindr. My body has kept the score and it has won. Is your story idea going to force me at gunpoint into the trunk of my own 2003 toyota prius? Then stop being a coward and pay the twink

Additionally:

I am a pathetic gay man in his midtwenties. If you're requesting yaoi, this is basically as close as you can get to buying organic. Archive of Our Own is but Plato's Cave and I am the shadowmaster. The words on that screen are real and I have lived them. I and I alone posess arcane boykissing knowledge and I do not intend to use it responsibly.

Okay! Reading comprehension check! $30 for me to tell your story between 7,500 - 10,000 words, you don't pay until you have the comission in your hands :) friendly neighborhood twink, here to make your stories actually happen in a way that is relational, fun, secure, and not weird or transactional.

DM me or email rowanmfieldgreen@gmail.com ! I am chronically online and should respond pretty quickly even late at night or if this is an old post.

[penandswords]

winguhiro's Hawks (Specifically their Hawks)

Send me a character Name and I was tell you a character Dynamic id want to explore with that character.

(OHHH SO now we're getting into specifics!)

(Just LIKE the hawks post from before ALL of those dynamics are still ON the table.) So I am ONLY going to add in things that apply to WHAT'S currently happening in threads between them!

@winguhiro | I'm tagging you cus it involves YOUR hawks specifically - Also please don't feel any pressure by this! This is just for funsies and I'm willing to coordinate anything that's NOT on this list that you might secretly want.

Comparing the Hero vs Civilian life styles

Comparing crazy families (hue hue hue)

Quietly admiring each others strength (both emotional / Physical / Mental)

Quiet Comfort. (Just sitting next to one another when emotions become overwhelming)

Casual TOUCHES (Either from him being devious and wanting a rush of emotions from her) Or Her accidentally brushing against him. (because she's clumsy.)

AWKWARD eye contact (and rima nervously looking away)

Rima SLOWLY getting use to the idea of Hawks touching her. (Platonically, because she is a coward and get's flighty at the meer THOUGHT of hand holding.)

HAWKS making Rima flustered!

Rima being a NERD / over energetic BEAN.

Occasional Co-workers (From Freelancing her creative talents to his agency when he asks. ;) (She won't leave endeavors agency but she will still assist) )

Admiration for the other WHILE one of them is looking away / not paying attention.

PESKY Hawks coming to say hello during late night study sessions.

Pesky Hawks insisting on using her balcony instead of the DOOR.

EArly morning Coffee just so He can catch Rima at Peek GRUMP hour. (And with very messy hair / eye liner)

[theearlgreymage]

It is yet another Six Sentence Sunday, and I have only two more Sunday's until break. The freedom is close. I can taste it.

Thankfully, these last two weeks should be a breeze and I can get back in a more regular groove with writing.

Maybe.

Here's hoping at least.

Hello to the wonderful @artsyunderstudy @nausikaaa @aristocratic-otter @confused-bi-queer @rimeswithpurple and @ic3-que3n for tagging me despite my lack of posting lately. You are all amazing <3

Despite my quietness, I have been tapping away at a couple of different projects. So, enjoy six series of six sentences --

COBB Project #1

She’s been making these excursions on her own every few months. Claiming them to be for her research, but I followed her last time. I saw the supplies she took, and didn’t bring back with her. We were outside Bristol when I lost track of her. Somehow she managed to lose all her supplies and beat me back to Watford.  There’s no way she managed that on her own.  But until she’s willing to admit the truth to me, I’m on my own with finding Simon.

COBB Project #2

Coward.  It’s the last word I’ll hear from him for a while as I step into the warm sunshine. While he can technically reach me beyond the Underworld, it is a lot harder for him to do. From what I can tell, it’s not worth the effort.  Not caring whether the chlamys around my shoulder gets dirty, I collapse onto my back into the grass. Letting the sun warm my chilled skin. 

A Gift for Someone

Nothing to see here. I wonder how many other students at Watford have used this spell for elicit sexual acts. How many students have had their trousers pulled down in the middle of the Great Lawn with none of us being the wiser? Of course, this isn't the Great Lawn - it's the back table in Astronomy that I'm crouched beneath. And it's not just any student who's trousers I'm pulling down eagerly. They're Simon Snow's trousers.

Another Gift for Someone

The snap of leather against leather sends a chill down my spine. I do my best to conceal it. The click of heeled boots on the wooden floor let me know that he's walking towards me, and still I fight the urge to shiver in anticipation. But when I feel the soft brush of the collar and warm press of fingers on my throat, I can't help but shudder. "Are you going to be good for me tonight?"

Something I'm working on in secret that may or may not see the light of day

Even if I’d come to accept myself more - feel more comfortable as my own individual person - I was still hung-up on the idea of having children that weren’t mine. It became an even bigger issue after Simon admitted to wanting a child. My mind became full of the impossible; of a small child with golden skin, freckles, dark hair, curls, and light colored eyes.  We thought it impossible, and set the topic off to the side. There were plenty of other things for us to worry over. My graduation and the wedding being the top two items on the list.

Chapter 4 of Infinity in Your Chest Pocket

This time, when I spot the movement out of the bedroom window I don't hesitate to leave the room. Fuck these wraiths. I'm not spending another night alone in a room with them. Baz can complain about me following him into the woods all he wants. It's not like he's doing anything all that secretive. We both know that I know that he's a vampire - one that has apparently never tasted human blood.

Tags and Hello's to Everyone under the Cut. Please know that I am eternally excited over everyone's projects and cannot get enough of the talent you all have. Also, I officially made a gosh darn spreadsheet to keep track of people for tagging!

@aroace-genderfluid-sheep @bazzybelle @bookish-bogwitch @buffy @captain-aralias @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @cutestkilla @ebbpettier @erzbethluna @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @foolofabookwyrm-activated @gekkoinapeartree @henreyettah @hushed-chorus @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ileadacharmedlife @ionlydrinkhotwater @j-nipper-95 @johnwgrey @krisrix @larkral @letraspal @martsonmars @moodandmist @mostlymaudlin @onepintobean @palimpsessed @prettylightsbigcity @raenestee @shrekgogurt @skeedelvee @stardustasincocaine @stitchyqueer @tea-brigade @theimpossibledemon @thewholelemon @upuntil6am @wellbelesbian @whogaveyoupermission @yellobb @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[evelynmlewis]

Story: The Boy in the Castle

I've decided to serialize it over a series of 9 posts. Do you like spies? Pathetic wet cat male protagonists? Original fairy tales? Christian allegories? Yes, everybody these days is doing them I know. My very best attempt at evoking the 18th century? (I try.) This story has not yet appeared in print, but it will (now that I am my own publisher) at some point in the future, but likely as part of an anthology... for now... it is my gift to you.

The Boy in the Castle

Part 1.

It was a perfectly ordinary day for Ilya Severin.

His attacker, a bulky brute with tattoos and tanned skin, brandished half of a broken beer bottle threateningly. Ilya picked up a chair and held it in front of himself, legs out, for defense.

“Watch who you mess with next time, bilge scum!” the man bellowed, before grabbing the legs of the chair and using it to swing him bodily into the wall.

 Ilya crumpled to the floor, clutching his stomach. He didn’t bother to get up, but waited for the man to leave.

After the pub had settled down, Dimitri came over and found him. The younger man crouched down. “What happened this time?” he asked in a low voice, looking over his shoulder to make sure everybody was back to minding their own business.

“He called me a coward and a weakling.”

“So you decided to prove him wrong, did you?”

“Gave him a good sock in the jaw.” Ilya accepted Dimitri’s offer of a white napkin, and wiped the blood dribbling from his nose.

“I can’t leave you alone for half a day, can I? You’re already drunk.”

“I come here to find work,” said Ilya.

“You’re not even sober.”

“So what?” Ilya coughed, and pulled himself into a sitting position.

“You’re supposed to be the best smuggler in Rostek.”

“I am the best smuggler in Rostek.” He gave a crooked grin.

“Oh? How will I present you to your client in a state like this?”

Ilya rubbed his nose gingerly. “My client?”

“Yes, your client. I decide to pay back that favor and get you a job, and this is what you give me to work with? Come on, let’s get you back to the inn.”

Ilya splashed his face with water and then rinsed out his greasy, shoulder-length hair in a wooden bucket. Finally he dried off his face with a towel, and with it came the last traces of the blood and grime.

“I need a drink…”

“No,” said Dimitri, standing behind him.

“Of water. Relax.”

“Behind you.” Dimitri pointed to a copper cup on the vanity.

He turned around in the inn’s washroom, found the cup, and sipped it slowly. Then he sat on a wooden stool and started to comb through his hair. “So, you say that you no longer owe me a favor. What have you come up with?”

“Last night a noblewoman, one of those landed gentry it would seem, sent her servant to the pub. He said his mistress would hire only the best smuggler in Rostek. It had a well-paying sound to it, so I mentioned your name.”

“I see. Well then, fine. Count it even. When is my appointment?”

“Half past eleven tomorrow. She’ll meet you at Saint Beska’s Abbey.”

“Did she happen to give a name?”

“No.” Dimitri shook his head.

           ***

The next morning, Ilya dressed in his best waist-coat and tie. He had brushed his hair and washed it with nothing more classy than a bar of soap. He had bathed well enough to hopefully not stink, although it was hard to fully get rid of the smell of alcohol.

Dimitri met him downstairs in the front of the inn, and wrinkled his nose. “Try some mint.”

“No time.” He waved off the young man, who had been hanging around him like some kind of gnat since they ran the last commission together. (He hated to admit it, but Dimitri’s imagined debt to him was probably actually just pity for his sorry state.)  “I’m running late.” It was an hour’s ride to the abbey. For the good smuggler, nothing was more important than punctuality.

“Good morrow, then.” Dimitri gave a wave and retreated to the upstairs rooms.

Ilya went out back to the stable, saddled up, and started off to the Abbey.

Saint Beska’s was outside the city of Rostek proper, to the north, but still within the bounds of the principality of Rostek, which was a small kingdom of the East.

The Abbey sat on a rolling green. There were hedgerows for two miles, finally giving way to trimmed topiary and then the walls of the spreading complex. This was a place for nuns; men did not usually come here, and he wondered if this woman, whoever she was (not a nun, certainly?) was planning to admit him.

When he rode up to the iron-studded gates, he dismounted and approached, wondering if a knock on such a large door would even be noticed.

But as it turned out, no knock was necessary, for there was a shout from above and the gates began to open. He stood back.

The woman came out alone. He understood as soon as he saw her why she had not come to the pub in person. She was in her fifties, and had on a black half-mourning dress, with a purple train. He could not see any jewelry, but mourning clothes could be deceptively simple, and the silk of her dress seemed to exude hidden wealth. She was not wearing a veil.

So then, a dowager whose husband was recently deceased. But not too recently—within the past year or so.

“Madame,” he said, and politely made a small bow.

“Sir.” She did not smile. Nor did she seem terribly impressed. “I sent for a smuggler.”

“Now ma’am,” he said carefully, “All my trade business is of course perfectly lawful.” These naive nobles lacked any sense of the rules of the game. He wasn’t of a mind to incriminate himself before establishing a rapport.

“Then I have no use for you.” She turned around and started to walk back toward the doors.

Ah – he was losing her. “Now, hang on just a moment.”

The woman stopped walking.

“I am… very good at what I do.”

“I sent for the best smuggler in Rostek,” she said, looking back at him. “Are you he?”

“I stay humble.” He scratched at his collar.

Her eyes sharpened. “We may have business, then.”

He nodded. Now they were on. “What do you need?”

He could hazard a guess. He had a burgeoning suspicion about who she was. A noble, yes, but not a noble of Rostek – she was from the kingdom of Belova, toward the south, just like he was. An ongoing civil war there had dethroned the King, and as revolutionaries, called the Vroek Coalition, hunted down and killed the Belovan nobles, they had fled to surrounding countries. This woman had doubtless fled recently, and most likely had left behind some valuable or sentimental personal property that she wished for him to retrieve.

He smiled confidently.

 “I wish you to escort me and my son into Belova,” she said.

Ilya took half a step back, stunned. It took him a moment to reply. “To a country fraught with war?”

She raised an eyebrow. “To the capital. Stosla.”

“Surely you must have gone to great pains to escape from there,” he ventured.

She looked at him drily, and he thought her eye twinkled a bit, but he couldn’t be sure. She wasn’t going to say anything.

“You would be heading into great danger.”

“I am aware of the risks.”

“What are you going to do when you get there?”

“I have made arrangements.”

Ilya thought about this. Perhaps she had a cover – and a safe house. She was a spy, perhaps. A spy for the royalist side of the conflict. If she knew what she was doing, this could work. But—

“How old is your son?” he asked.

“He is nine years old.”

“Nine?!” Ilya stepped back, setting his teeth into a grimace. He folded his arms, looking at the ground, and kicked a pebble. “What shall I call you, madame?”

“You may call me… Madame Olga,” she said, as if deciding on the name.

“All right, listen, Madame Olga. I’ll take you anywhere you wish to go, but this isn’t any kind of journey for a child.”

“He must come.”

“With all due respect, Madame, it’s madness to bring a child on a trip like this.” His deferential mask was slipping, and he tried to put it back on, but it was a bit of a lost cause. “Children are… unpredictable. He will be a liability. Such a journey calls for… discretion… and… fortitude. You should leave him here, where he’s safe.” A child of only nine years would certainly get them all killed.

Olga’s lips tightened, but she remained unmoved. “He is non-negotiable.”

He sighed, trying to imagine the journey and the accommodations. Ilya wiped a hand across his face. “Is he quiet?”

“My son is very well-mannered. Will you do it or not?”

“I’d like half up-front.”

She smiled for the first time. “Done. It shall be paid on our next meeting. Come again this time tomorrow.”

Ilya shook her hand, feeling sweaty.

He started turning around back to his horse, then paused. “Expenses also upfront.”

“Expenses?”

“I’ll need coin to rent a stagecoach.”

She reached into her purse. Ah, finally.

Next Part

[aaronstveit]

I saw you talking about the gifs you were excited to make because they’d make you happy and I can def relate to knowing only a couple of people will be interested/will like my creations and yet that won’t stop me from creating them because I want to see that idea become something *concrete*. It is pretty lonely, though. Like, sometimes I trick myself into thinking I won’t care nobody will like something I’ve made and then it happens and it really gets to me. Especially because I wish I could share it with someone. The enthusiasm, my creative process, etc.

My hiperfixation has tired the friends of mine who know about it, since I’ve had the same one for years. So it’s not new to me, I struggle to accept this lonely/rejecting feeling, but I accept it (most of the time).

What’s been making me really sad lately though is that whenever I create something to gift to someone, their reaction to it is very… underwhelming. I feel like I see in my art something others don’t see. I mean, maybe my drawings aren’t actually good and my stories aren’t really moving to others? Maybe I’m only good at it in my head, and whenever I want to surprise someone with a portrait or comment with them about fics I’ve been working on and stories I wish they’d like, I get to see what I make through someone else’s eyes and… it happened this week again, twice, and it devastated me. Because it’s not the same person, a lot of people have reacted the same way. So I’m always putting my heart into these creations and giving people pieces of my soul for them to look at it and not say anything in return. To treat it like it’s nothing, like it doesn’t mean anything to them. To not even tell me if they’ve read what I wrote, let alone talk to me about it. It’s like my best is not only not enough, it’s less than ordinary to those around me.

I don’t know how to live with this feeling, I know you’re very kind and pretty good at giving advice so I wanted to ask your opinion, or what would you do if you were in my shoes?

Sending you love xxx

hi anon, first of all i'm sorry for the late answer, i meant to reply last night but i'm sick right now and getting my brain to put words in a functional order is. a task.

i am really sorry that you have those experiences :( sharing your art with someone is one of the most intimate and personal experiences you can share with a person and when you're just sort of written off, that is genuinely one of the worst feelings in the world. and it's so natural to want to share your art with others, even if you made it for an audience of one (yourself). art is an extension of who we are. of course we want others to see it and to love it.

i want you to know that your art is good. i don't have to see it to know that. your art is good just by definition of being yours. your art is something that wasn't in the world and now it is, because of you and you only. that is amazing! you created something that only you are capable of, and that is nothing less than a miracle.

i wish that your friends would tell you all of this and would appreciate your art. you deserve friends who love the things you make, who get excited about them, who support your art and all your ideas. i hate that they make you think that you and the things you create aren't enough. you & your art will always be enough, even if some people can't see that.

i hope you can find a community that appreciates you & your art and makes you feel extraordinary, because that's what you are. this is some pretty hilarious advice coming from me, the world's first and foremost discord coward, but i really recommend finding or creating a discord server for your fandom. post about it on tumblr, invite people who seem interested, and really try to make it an environment where everyone feels good sharing their art & engaging with each other's.

i wish i could offer you better advice. you really, really deserve to be able to share your work with people who are just as excited about it as you are, even more. you deserve better friends than people who make you question if the things you make are even good. and you deserve people who love and appreciate and treasure the art that you make for them. you put your heart and soul into it, and you deserve the same energy back. i'm sending you lots and lots of love, i hope your experiences get better ♡ you are always welcome to come talk to me about your art and your hyperfixations, even if we don't share the fandom! 🫶🏻

[angst-king]

Wish come true

((This is a piece from my MHA Adoption AU, I might start posting lil side fics from it on here. CW Mention of substance use/addiction, child neglect, death during child birth, loss of a partner/parent. Child abuse, & sexual abuse))

“Aizen, earth to Aizen~” Called out Hizashi, Aizen jolted from his daze and looked up at Hizashi.

“Huh yeah sounds good, dude” Hizashi sighed and set down his drink, Aizen saw this and asked if he did something to upset him. Hizashi shook his head and asked his own question.

“Aizen, what’s on your mind?” Aizen furrowed his brows at the man and took a swig of his drink.

“What do you mean man?” “You’ve been Spacing out a lot recently especially during our practices and during the radio show. The other members of the band nodded in agreement, then one of them asked if he was using again and Aizen knew it was bad for them to ask if he was using again.

“No no I’m not using drugs again, I’m clean I promise….sometimes I wish I wasn’t but…you guys wouldn’t care, it's nothing I promise.” Mic shook his head once again as he crossed one leg over the other.

“Aizen I know you, I know it's not nothing. We’ve been here for you since the beginning dude, I’ve been here since day one, so there's no way in hell am I letting you walk outta here without you getting whatever’s messing with you off your chest.” Aizen knew Hizashi was serious and he knew if it was too personal then he could ask to speak with him privately. Aizen huffed as he felt the entire room’s attention on him.

“I-I miss Natsuki and I miss Kyoka, I miss them so damn much.” He stammered out his eyes unable to look at his bandmates. He could already feel the tears welling up.

“Sometimes I regret sending Kyoka away, I feel like a coward and a shitty excuse of a man for giving up on my little girl! I wish I could have told those doctors off and made them check her out sooner! I wish I kept her, I know it's probably selfish of me but,” He took in a shaky breath and put his hand over his head interlocking his fingers.

“I would have quit the band, dyed my hair, taken out my piercing shaved, cleaned up, and gotten a proper job. I’d do all of that if I had to do it again…I just…I miss her and Natsuki so fucking much it hurts! It hurts to wake up and not have my beautiful wife by my side or to wake up to my daughter jumping on me.” They could hear his voice breaking and tremoring with each sentence. They sympathized with him deeply. Many of the band members were there when Natsuki died. Natsuki died after childbirth due to hospital negligence and discrimination. She died of hemorrhaging because the doctors didn’t believe she needed medical attention due to how they were perceived when he was 25. Natsuki and Aizen were punk and goth and very out about it. They didn’t care if people stared or gawked at their tattoos or at the way they dressed. Well, apparently it made many doctors not see them as someone worth helping. It took calling up Mic and an older band member to berate and beg a doctor to help them and by then it was too late. Natsuki had died leaving Aizen to take care of Kyoka all on his own. They all remember the night Aizen took Kyoka home they offered help and for a while he took it.

He seemed to be doing well but when Kyoka got older he started getting overwhelmed with the responsibility and his lack of money didn’t make it easier. When she just barely turned 4 he took her to a foster agency and signed away his parental rights. He battled with himself every day on whether he had made the right decision. It was now eating him alive!

Hizashi placed a gentle hand on Aizen’s back as he thought about telling Aizen everything. He hated to see his friend so torn up when Hizashi could let Aizen see his daughter again. He decided enough was enough and cleared his throat.

“Aizen, what if I told you I could let you see your daughter again, what would you do?” Aizen looked up and chuckled.

“Don’t play with me man, there’s no damn way you’d be able to do that. She’s probably off in some god-awful place, she probably hates me and wouldn’t want to see me anyway.” “I’m dead serious Aizen.” Aizen raised a brow at his statement and asked Hizashi to go on.

“You are right about your daughter ending up in a ‘god-awful place’. Remember when I had to take a break from the band again due to pro-hero work because of a foster home case?” “yeah, I remember that you looked ready to fight when you told me.” “Well, one of the children from that case was your daughter…Kyoka Jirou.” Aizen’s face went pale, he asked what happened to her.

“The home she- along with many other kids- were placed in was awful the caretakers, if you could even call them that, were abusive beyond belief. When we came to get her she was just malnourished and had very few injuries. From her records, she did have many past injuries.” “Oh my god!” Many of the members shared a look of sadness, to hear that someone so young and small went through that. Aizen was on the brink of breaking down, his hand over his mouth as tears ran down his face,

“Currently she is selectively mute but is doing better, still learning to feel safe around adults and unlearning trauma habits but all of them are doing that. I will say, I think she remembers you. She mentions your hot pink guitar and a lullaby you would sing to her.” “r-really?” “Mhm, I don’t know what it is but she uses it to calm herself down or the other kids.” A small smile cracked its way through Aizen’s sorrow at this knowledge. Hizashi rubbed small circles into Aizen’s back as he made an offer.

“How about I see if Kyoka would like to meet you, and if she says yes, then I’ll bring her over here so you can meet her. She loves music just as much as you, Aizen” Aizen looked surprised and asked Hizashi if he was serious.

“Y-you’re serious, you’d do that for me, Hizashi?” “Yes Aizen, I’m 100% serious.” Aizen then pulled Hizashi into a tight hug and sobbed into his chest but this time it wasn’t tears of regret or shame, these were tears of appreciation. Hizashi just smiled and continued his soothing gestures for the younger mate.

“Hey Kyoka hun, can I ask you something?” Kyoka nodded not looking from her drawing as Hizashi sat beside her and went through his phone.

“Do you remember your dad?” Kyoka shrugged and nodded again.

“Can you tell me what you remember about him?” Hizashi slid his phone over showing a picture of a man with long purple hair and a light amount of matching stubble on his jawline. He wore a pair of glasses and had a hot pink guitar. Kyoka took the phone and examined it for a minute before quietly saying.

“Daddy was..sad v-very sad, he didn’t smile much.” Her voice never went above her hushed tone, even when she spoke about her father. The thing wasn’t always so quiet, trauma was the reason for her selective mutism. In the old house, she grew up with the narrative that speaking or making noise meant people knew you were around and it was better to remain silent and invisible than to speak and be harmed. She was slowly letting herself talk again and Hizashi and Shota encouraged her to take her time. They were just happy she would talk to them. It took them a while for her to even look at them without crying or relying on her siblings to communicate for her.

“Do you remember anything else?” Hizashi didn’t wanna seem pushy but he was genuinely curious about it.

“Daddy apologized a lot, he’d always say that he was sorry he was a bad daddy. He said he wanted to do better but didn’t know how to.” Mic could feel his heart-shattering piece by piece as he listened to her. She was one of the only kids in the group whose parents were still alive or around. Hitoshi’s parents were dead, Izuku’s mother was dead and his father was never in the picture, Katsuki’s parents were dead, Hanta’s parents were dead, and Ochako’s parents were also dead. Everyone else’s parents weren’t involved by choice or by law.

“He was nice though, when he did smile it was good. He was playing his guitar or teaching me how to play it.” Hizashi waited a second before asking his main question.

“Kyoka, would you ever want to see your daddy again?” She looked back down at her drawing, bit her lip, and nodded. She seemed hesitant to say that but Hizashi didn’t want to point that out knowing me might scare her out of talking.

“How about my next band practice I can take you with me, and you’ll meet him. You’ll also meet the rest of my band.” Kyoka looked back at him with a surprised but happy look.

“Y-you’re actually gonna take me?” “yeah kid, I wouldn’t lie about that. Besides, your dad really wants to see you again” “i missed him” “I know ya do kid, you’re gonna have a good time.”

“Alright kids are all in bed now” Shota says as he walks into their bedroom that night. Hizashi scoots over to their bed and lets the man in.

“So i heard you talking to Kyoka about Aizen” “Yeah, she misses him and AIzen practically broke down in my arms today. I think them seeing each other again will be good.” “I agree, it's gotta be rough for the both of them, she remembers him very well but I know she can’t put it to words.” “Mhm, she’s almost 6 too, so depending on how their relationship goes maybe he’ll come for her birthday” “oh yeah knowing him, he’d come. Though i think the other kids might get a lil nervous around him. So we’d have to introduce them to him when they’re ready.” Laying down beside each other, Shota rolled over onto his side and pushed Hizashi’s hair from his face softly.

“for now let's just worry about what’s in front of us”

“m-Momo” “yes Kyoka” “c-can we t-talk?” The 8-year-old girl sat up in her bed and went over to Kyoka’s bed and climbed in. Even in the dim lighting of their room, she could tell something was wrong.

“What is it Kyoka?” “Papa says I get to meet my daddy, th-the one I used to live with.” “Do you not want to meet him?” “n-no it's not that… ’m just nervous what i-if he doesn’t like me, or he’s still sad…or if he got a new girl?” Momo pulled Kyoka into a hug after listening to her.

“He wouldn’t ask to meet you if he didn’t like you. Why would he still be sad though?” “Remember a-at the old house, th-they said I w-was the reason mommy died. S-so why would he want t-to see me?” “Because he loves you, plus you know the caretakers there liked to be mean and say mean things, what if it's not true?” “M-maybe, I just want him to like me” Kyoka noticed she was crying and hid behind her blanket while apologizing. All Momo did was hold her younger sister close.

“Do you want me to stay in your bed tonight?” “You don’t have to, if you don’t wanna…” Momo got herself under the covers with her plushie and stayed snuggled up to Kyoka for the night. Gently running her fingers through her hair as a way to help her sleep through the night. Momo hated seeing any of the others upset, they all saw each other as siblings and she was one of the oldest. So she took it upon herself to be the one to help out in these situations. It was a survival tactic she developed in the old house. If the kids weren’t safe with the adults, she would step up and do what she could!

For right now that meant cuddling Kyoka to sleep.

When the night for band practice came, Kyoka packed her little backpack that had her ukelele that Hizashi had bought her and a teddy bear named DJ. She never left home without it. She had Momo pick out her outfit. The little girl was a mix of excited and anxious both hyperactive emotions she didn’t know how to deal with so the entire car ride with Hizashi was completely silent just nodding and listening to him sing. When they arrived at the studio which was the same place the radio show was held, just in a different room. Hizashi walked her inside, her smaller hands holding onto his finger tightly.

When they walked inside she hid behind him seeing everyone else in the room.

“Hey guys, we’re here!” He announced, the group smiled and called out while setting up. Aizen looked over with an excited look on his face and asked where Kyoka was. She peered out just a bit to look at the man and was surprised to see that he looked just how he remembered. Long purple hair that went down to his shoulders, his eyes were black, he still had that stubble beard, and the wedding ring.

“Oh she’s behind me, just a bit skittish. She doesn’t have the best memories of being around adults. So be careful please” Hizashi warned gently, Aizen noticed the flash of violet and gently approached squatted down to her level, and waved.

“Hi there, Kyoka” Kyoka waved back but didn’t move from her spot or say anything.

“D-do you remember me?” Aizen asked, she nodded and he sighed with an adoring smile. Kyoka had hardly ever seen that man smile before. Even when he did it was never genuine but she could sense that it was now.

“I-I’m sorry that I left you in such a terrible place, Kyoka. I truly am, I just couldn’t take care of you, and I didn’t want you to be caught up in my mess any more than you already were. You deserved someone who could and would take care of you. Who had their life together in some capacity, and would put in the work to keep you.” The purple-haired man smiled through his words even as he could feel the tears starting up again.

“I love you, I always did and I still do, you are the best daughter I could have asked for.” Kyoka tried to find the words to say but the only thing she could think of was.

“I-I’m s-sorry about Mommy, i-I know it's my fault.” If it were possible, you would be able to hear everyone in the room feel their hearts crumble to pieces at her apology. It even brought them to tears as they heard her say this. Aizen was crestfallen that his daughter blamed herself for the loss of her mother. Hizashi himself was a little shocked to hear her say it too.

“K-Kyoka honey, wh…it-ts not your fault, your mommy dying isn’t your fault. Who told you that?” Asked Hizashi, he tried to make sure he didn’t sound like he was scolding her. He just wanted to know where this was coming from as she never talked about it to him or Shota.

“B-back a-at the old house. One of th-the adults said if I died instead of mommy, then daddy would be happier.” She stammered out anxiously, Aizen wanted to pull her into the tightest hug that he could when she explained where she got this idea from. Hizashi knew that all of the kids had gone through awful things such as sexual assault, starvation, and physical violence, but he never knew about this! Everyone in the room was dead silent, many of them put down whatever they were doing to stay engaged in the conversation to show their sympathy for the little girl. Aizen shook his head at her and wiped his eyes.

“No no no, sweetheart you are not the reason Mommy died. If would not have been happier if you died, I would have been just as sad if not worse if I had lost you even if it were instead of Mommy. I’m not upset with you, I do not blame you. Your Mommy died because the doctors weren’t being nice and refused to take care of you and Mommy. It was never your fault.” Aizen then went digging through his pocket pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture of a woman with long dark purple curled hair, who looked almost like an adult version of Kyoka.

“This is your mommy, this is Natsuki, my wife.” He turns the phone to show Kyoka the picture, Kyoka had only seen small pictures of Natsuki, though those pictures were given to Natsuki’s parents after her death.

“Mommy was pretty” “Mhm, and you look just like your mommy, just as pretty as her.” “Really?” “mhm, do you remember that song I used to sing to you?” Kyoka nodded

“That was a song Natsuki would sing to you when you were still in her tummy”

Kyoka hummed the song that Aizen was referring to and it excited him that she remembered it herself.

“I-I hum that song when people at the old house would get too loud” Aizen hesitantly opened his arms asking for a hug though he said she didn’t have to if she didn’t want to. Kyoka hesitated for a second before slowly coming out from behind Hizashi and going over to him wrapping her small arms around the man’s neck. Aizen held her close to him just taking in the moment he finally got to hold his daughter again, afraid to let her go and if she’d disappear if he wasn’t careful! There was a soft ‘aaw’ that rumbled through the room as the bandmates watched.

When the hug ended Kyoka smiled back at her father happily as he smiled back.

“I missed seeing you happy, daddy.” “I missed seeing you happy too, Kyoka”

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (29/10/23)

veeeeeeeeeeeeeery late this week I know it's my own fault really, I was warned by my buddy mega that yozakura would be a dense read and take a while but I didn't listen and underestimate how long it'd take, I should've started during the week but I only started reading on saturday NIGHT so no way in hell I was gonna be able to catch up.. by the time I went to bed on sunday I was on 111/200 so oof.. also didn't mon tue or wed so that's why the post is so late but anyhoo

green - new series/new to me pink - catching up

Anime

Frieren Ep8

very good episode like usual, even more for me cause of all the action. looks like the next one will also have quite a bit of it so I'm pogged up

Undead Unluck Ep4

bro that episode went absolutely INSANE?? HELLO the sakuga was so good I was losing my gourd I'm so glad uu got the adaptation it deserves also my queen yuuki absolutely stole the show, really showing why she's up there with the best of the best, it's gonna be sad not getting more gina til like cour 4 but it'll be worth the wait

Pokemon Horizons Ep26

pretty chill episode after all the excitement from last week's cour finale, mostly just setting up the plot for the future. tho we also got a new op and it goes absolutely crazy

Adult Precure Ep4

alright episode, mostly about what saki and mai have been up to, saki being engaged and mai breaking up with her bf. I know that in their shows, from the very start, the girls have crushes on boys (ofc it couldn't be otherwise cause toei are cowards) but you gotta understand how deep in the yuri mines I am. hearing them actually say they're engaged or dating a man gave me whiplash

Imas Million Live Ep4

good episode as usual, the best part was getting a lot more screentime for some of the girls that were barely in the other eps, tho it still wasn't that much and since this isn't following the og format there's always gonna be some girls that won't get their time to fully shine sadly. also got a couple momoko moments™ including the box so that was funny

Manga

Mission: Yozakura Family Ch1 - 200

wowie that was.. a lot better than I expected. honestly went in not expecting much, and after having just caught up to jujutsu from 1 to current I wasn't expecting yozakura to be so good since jujutsu is so much more popular but, hot take: I think it's way better like sheesh. I talked about it on my server but the only I thing I think jujutsu has over yozakura is the battles, otherwise it's beat in every category. I like the art a lot more, even from ch1 yozakura had waaaaay better paneling than even current jujutsu. and the whole cast is a lot more likeable. like from jujutsu I cared about gojo, nanami, maki and okkotsu. in yozakura we get cooldown chaps were the different family members do their own stuff and interact with each other which helps you get to know them more and in doing so liking them more, while still using these chaps to move the plot along so the pacing isn't too slow (outside of that little side detour with the past heads that got cut short prob by the editor but yknow)

anyway rambling and just repeating what I already said in the server but TL;DR it's good, glad to be caught up, and looking forward to it wrapping up in the near future since we're close to the final arc

Witch Enforcer Ch1

I started this mostly on a whim cause the art is good (artist's on here too btw @ camellia0x0) but I was pleasantly surprised. there was nothing surprising about the story but it was delivered well and the art was solid through the whole chap (tho the paneling is very basic but I'll give them a pass since it's their first serialization [only some one shots before]) and the concept of a witch making and using mechs is fun. looking forward to seeing this artist's growth as a mangaka, hopefully the series doesn't get axed too early

Undead Unluck 181

good chap, especially the end tho. never thought this could be a possibility but it makes total sense there'd be a reverse evil union on the side of god. never thought about it since we had under before. really curious to see how the next chap gonna but it's prob just gonna be introducing all those baddies that people will fight in the final arc

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Don Giovanni (Met, 1990): Reactions, Part I

about time i liveblogged don giovanni on this here account

@leporellian​

F MURRAY ABRAHAM MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED

those opening chords are the GOAT

(really, as i have already stated, the overture in general is the GOAT. but james l*vine is very much NOT the GOAT even tho those chords were PERFECTION.)

okay but for real it’s so cool to watch the set come into place

FERRUCCIO FURLANETTO AND LEPORELLO MY BELOVEDS

surely there is something significant in us hearing from leporello first 👀

GET HIS ASS DONNA ANNA (also carol vaness my beloved)

fuck any production that tries to make this “consensual” (and bravo to this production for NOT doing that)

goated opera dad

it’s all he does the whole opera

STUNNING cape

fuck youuuuuuuuuuuu

poor leporello

three low-voiced greats, this sublime music, likely the greatest opening scene in opera, what more could you want?

bitch

this line makes me HOWL every time

GO OFF LEPORELLO

too late :(

oh no oh honey

BITCH HER FATHER WAS JUST MURDERED

honestly i wanna see the version where donna anna inigo montoya’s don giovanni’s ass

“but savannah that goes against traditional gender roles in western societies” and THAT is the point here!!!! the men [ottavio] are so ineffective and like enforcing their little buddy clubs and norms but then the women [anna] cannot fight for themselves!!!

yeah and then you’re gonna do NOTHING

which does not exist

EXACTLY

just gonna leave this here

KARITA MATTILA AND DONNA ELVIRA MY ABSOLUTE BELOVEDS

once again: elvira is not crazy!!! she’s like helena in a midsummer night’s dream, chasing after the man who ruined her life and caused her to violate the societal norms in hope of respectability!!! and there’s lots of other complicated feelings there too!!!

ICONIC

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

this moment right here is *chef’s kiss*

ONCE AGAIN: GET HIS ASS DONNA ELVIRA

something something anna/elvira inside/outside society compare and contrast

me trying to explain anything without writing it down first

also: bye bye you little coward

EXACTLY. he isn’t worth worrying about but elvira has her rights anyway

CATALOGUE ARIA TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HER FACE 😂😭

all bow to the one true king

oh this is a BOP (also pretty set)

DAWN UPSHAW AND ZERLINA MY BELOVEDS

(seriously this cast is so GOATed)

don giovanni: here i am to cause problems on purpose

oh come on leporello (more accurately: come on director)

what a dick

unrelated but samuel ramey: consummate musician and actor, like even in the way he taps the hilt exactly with the harpsichord chords

masetto pls calm down

WHICH YOU ARE NOT

she says “NO I DON’T WANT TO”

i love this duet but in light of her LITERALLY just saying no…😬

no no no no noooooooooooo

anyway this is being stupid so rest of act one will be on a different post